Lives In Progress

Roles, Relationships and The Art of Talk

2012-01-30T16:21:00.000-08:00

   by Nicholas Wolff, LCSW, BCD, TEP
    In the early nineties, the Air Forceachieved a 60% drop in accidents after implementing a program called Crew Resource Management (CRM)training – which emphasizes the “human factor” skills of communication,situational awareness, decision-making and team performance. The pre-CRM cockpit featured a “a traditionally rigid hierarchy with an autocraticcaptain and subservient flight crew. The cabin crew was not even consideredpart of the flying team. This tradition closely mirrored the maritimeindustry’s concept of the captain being “master of the ship.” Since adoptingCRM, U.S. air disasters (not related to terrorism) have fallen fromapproximately 20 per year to one to two per year” ("Sustaining and Advancing Performance Improvements Achieved by CRM" Dynamics Research Corporation). Since that time, aviationprofessionals reached out to the medical/surgical field where CRM is gainingground
     Medical, surgical and aviation teams operatein high-stakes situations with lives on the line that demand technical precisionwith little margin for error. Specialists in group dynamics will not besurprised to learn that when mistakes are made within teams – sometimes withcatastrophic results - the majority are due to problems in communication withinthe team and interpersonal issues. A few examples:

“CommunicationFailures: An Insidious Contributor to Medical Mishaps” published in the journalAcademic Medicine states that “Communicationfailures are complex and relate to hierarchical differences, concerns with upwardinfluence, conflicting roles and role ambiguity, and interpersonal power andconflict.”
A study published in The Journal of the American College of Surgery found that “communicationin the OR was perceived to be poor by the anesthesiologists, adequate by the ORnurses, and good by the surgeons” revealing a true disconnect amongmembers of the same team.
Communication skills trainingssignificantly improved the communication between oncologists and patients thatis critical to effective care, and more resources should be allocated to thiswork, according to a study reported in Lancet.

What works in a cockpit, surgical theateror EMS response unit is a powerful model for what works in any team that has a job to do.These studies point out the importance of talking openly and honestly and of creating a system of communication that allows hidden dynamicsamong people in groups to be examined and understood. Trainers and therapists can apply the Crew ResourceManagement model and improve the effectiveness of any group, whether that groupis a company, marriage/ partnership, family or project team. Anyone who hasserved on a committee that talks a good game but accomplishes little, or satthrough tortured meetings with policy-focused administrators unwilling to hearabout the real problems their staff encounters day to day knows thatcommunication breakdowns due to dysfunction within the group leads straight toburn-out. And the work suffers.

Co-facilitating is a worthy test ofrelationship skills, as well as a check in the self-awareness department. Professionals who run groups are as vulnerable to role conflicts and hidden tensions in relationships as our trainees and clients. Symptoms that a training team needs somerehabilitation show up in post-processing after an event, the first of which isavoiding the debrief altogether. Just as troubling is a team whose members takethe time to debrief but withhold questions or confusion about choices made by othersduring the event. While our work doesnot usually have the life-or-death component that is always there for teams offirefighters or EMS personnel, the fact that people in our groups surrender adegree of control, lower their defenses and open their minds to us means wehave a high degree of responsibility to both honest and respectful in working out ourdifferences with one another.
Read a Crew Resource Management Manual

Nicholas Wolff, LCSW, BCD, TEP runs a weekly training group
in Experiential/Action Methods at Lifestage, Inc.

Following The Fear, Or Getting Over Myself….Because Nothing Else Seemed To Be Working

2012-01-25T21:29:00.000-08:00

by Jude Treder-Wolff, LCSW, RMT, CGP

Improv guru DelClose famously advised his students to “follow the fear,” a phrase printed on aT-shirt I recently bought at The Pit-NYC and framed to post in my office. “He didn't just say this to neophyte improvisers afraid of performingwithout a script,” writes Mike Bonifer, founder of the business learningcompany Gamechangers on Huffington Post.“Del taught the best there was. Bill Murray, John Belushi, Tina Fey, GildaRadner, Mike Myers - his former students are the improvhall of fame. What he said is that you can use your fear as a kind of diviningrod. Do what makes you uneasy, he taught. Do the thing that scares you most. Youwill discover new worlds.” When we step into an improv situation, we agreeto rattle our own cage by engaging in an activity that involves psychological risk.Defenses structured to keep our flaws hidden from view - what we habitually, reflexively, do to look good - are threatened when wesurrender control in order to respond to unexpected choices from other players.This is a healthy way to cultivate resilience to stress, to train both brain and emotions for the unexpected. Because one never knows when we might have a day like this:

The 6:55 a.m.Long Island Railroad Train gets me into Penn Station-if all goes according to plan-at8:19. More than enough time to travel to the New York PublicLibrary in midtown where I’m scheduled to run a staff training that begins at9:30. Except this time, nothing goes according to plan. The Long IslandExpressway, always busy at this hour, is a parking lot. Service and side roads arealso paralyzed. At 7:30 I am trapped on a side road miles from the trainstation wild with anxiety, trying to calculate how late I am going to be if Iget on any train at this point. I call my husband – who is, remarkably, alwaysable to wake from a dead sleep fully alert when a call for help comes in – andhe immediately offers to drive me to a station closer to the city using the HighOccupancy Lane (HOV). Nick is alreadyoutside when I pull up a few minutes later - his crazy morning hair in an homage to Einstein - but hope plunges onceagain when we are crawling at 5 mph in the HOV lane. I leave frantic messagesto my contacts at the Library, knowing it is likely they will only be heardwhen angry participants storm Human Resources. They are entitled to anger –they took time from work to attend this thing and it cannot be easily re-scheduled.I want to tell myself “I’m only human,” or “this happens to everyone, at leasteveryone who lives in New York,” but this does not mitigate the completely irrationalbut ever-so-familiar shame triggered by failure. As a free-lancer, these areimportant gigs and I can't afford to lose this business. The shame grows astime races by, along with dread over having to face an understandably frustratedand possibly hostile group. I know I have to do something. So I cry.

Nick continues the mercy run – well, crawl- all the way into the city while I rethink my presentation based on how late I’llbe. I breathe from the diaphragm. I repeat affirmations. Anxiety wins. As we exit theMidtown Tunnel into Manhattan it is clear that here too, cars are moving much slower than people. I jumpout of the car and run - in my suit, my high heels and carrying my briefcase. Irun without thinking and definitely without stopping, and enter that trainingsite dripping like I just came from the gym. My hair is stuck to the backof my head. It’s like a sauna inside my suit. I've sweated off whatever make-up had not been washed away by tears. Vanity and ego threaten toderail my focus on the presentation. After all that stop-and-go,moment-to-moment decision-making, I am only 30 minutes late but there is no timeto waste on how I look. Walking intothat scene feels exactly like entering an improv scene, with no time to feel thefear but a clear injunction to follow it. I explain the situation whilecatching my breath. We have a wealth of real-time material to work withthat relates to the training theme: “Creative Thinking In Difficult Situations." The participants receive my story and my imperfect self as if they are experienced improvisers themselves - they listen. They express understanding. We go from there.
Improv trains usto accept uncertainty and exposure, in order to – hopefully, possibly,sometimes gloriously – create a truly alive and spontaneous moment. To tell astory. To find the funny in a dynamic and authentic way. The improv scene islike the blank page to a writer, the empty canvas to the painter, the designproblem to the engineer. It is the training ground for getting over ourselves.

Jude Treder-Wolff is a trainer/consultant, writer and performer. She is performing her new show CrAzYToWn: my first psychopath at Broadway Comedy Club in New York, NY on Feb. 18 and 25. Click here for more information.

About CrAzYToWn: How do you know that nice, helpful guy in the next cubicle is a psychopath? You don’t. Some people can lie better than the rest of us can tell the truth. In Crazytown, real-life therapist/performer Jude Treder-Wolff takes you down the rabbit hole of belief that led to her being blind-sided by reality. It’s a comic take on an over-eager therapist getting over herself (when nothing else seemed to be working). And these days, when our phones are smarter than we are, and we can meet, fall in love, shop for a ring and get some counseling with someone and never meet them in person – it’s a cautionary tale about how authentic a completely fake person can be.

Changing For Good: Relationship Lessons From The Words of Dr. Martin Luther King

2012-01-16T14:34:00.000-08:00

Dr. Martin Luther King

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that."

Dr. Martin Luther King,

by Jude Treder-Wolff, LCSW, BCD, TEP
     February is Black History Month, and an opportunity to reflect upon Dr. Martin Luther King's unconventional and seemingly counter-intuitive approach to oppression and injustice and apply it to our daily interactions at home and work. He spoke stirringly about peoples' real and immediate suffering while inspiring them to work toward change they might never see in their own lifetime. He communicated with clarity and force about long-standing wrongs while encouraging civil, collective movement toward a new way of thinking for all of society. "Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism," he said, "or in the darkness of destructive selfishness."
     Struggles for social change and in personal relationships are more often between “old and new’ than between “me and you,” and have the potential to take us from dark to light, like Ebeenezer Scrooge, or dark to darker, like Darth Vader. encouraging oppressed people to think beyond their hurt and anger over manifest injustice so that they could play a larger role in reshaping the world. “The arc of the moral universe is long,” Dr. Martin Luther King said, “but it bends toward justice,” which had to have been very difficult for the black community to even imagine at the time.
      Intimate partnerships and family life are a mini-society in that both are created by intricate weaving of our actions and choices with those of others. Both contain the energy to support or block the pursuit of our dreams and realization of our better selves. The nature of interdependency is a balance of benefits - psychological safety, support, and life satisfaction, according to numerous studies – and sources of conflict. Our need to be right can interfere with respect for others. Our need for power – or simply the fear that someone else will take advantage of our vulnerability - locks us into battle-ready positions from which we will tend to perceive any disagreement or disapproval as a threat. An underlying fear of loss can turn normal differences of opinion into pitched battles for control.
     But as the Civil Rights movement demonstrated, the seeds of transformation are sown through conflict. Dr. King's visionary approach sought to transform and uplift the whole rather than satisfy resentments, which is probably why we may feel tremendous resistance to applying it in real time. We may have grown comfortable staying small, feel safe in woundedness that justifies indulging the “inner wimp” always ready to run or the “inner warrior” always ready to rumble. But small shifts in our attitudes can make large differences. Simply opening our awareness to what others experience as a consequence of our actions can generate good will in a relationship. Respectful communication, especially in disagreements about hot-button issues, pays off in the ability to come up with long-term strategies when ‘live-and-let-live” is the only solution. And we don’t have to be some sort of “relationship genius” to do this, although it helps to want a transformed relationship more than we want to “win.”“Everybody can be great because anybody can serve,” according to Dr. King. “You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve... You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.”

Jude Treder-Wolff will perform her solo show CrAzYToWn: my first psychopath at Broadway Comedy Club, 318 W. 53rd St. New York, NY on Feb. 18 and 25, 2012. Click here for more information.

ABOUT CrAzYToWn:
How do you know that nice, helpful guy in the next cubicle is a psychopath? You don’t. Some people can lie better than the rest of us can tell the truth.In Crazytown, real-life therapist/performer Jude Treder-Wolff takes you down the rabbit hole of belief that led to her being blind-sided by reality. It’s a comic take on an over-eager therapist getting over herself (when nothing else seemed to be working). And these days, when our phones are smarter than we are, and we can meet, fall in love, shop for a ring and get some counseling with someone and never meet them in person – it’s a cautionary tale about how authentic a completely fake person can be

When A Door Closes, Open Your Mind

2012-01-13T10:20:00.000-08:00

by Nicholas Wolff,
LCSW, BCD, TEP

“When a paradigm shifts, everythinggoes back to zero,” writes Joel Barker, author of Paradigms:The Business of Discovering the Future, in which he mentions thetelephone and movies with sound as inventions that were disparaged and passed over bycorporate giants. Digital Equipment (never heard of them? That’s my point) wentout of business because they could not let go of an old idea about who coulduse or understand computers. Steve Jobs and Bill Gates changed history byre-imagining the computer as something anyone could own anduse. What’s true in business, scienceand technology is also true in the way we think and live. When events beyondour control force us onto an entirely different course, letting go of the oldis about the most important – and for many of us most difficult – aspect ofthriving in the “new normal.”

     A famous example of this – and the subjectof the recent New York Times essay “Leadership Lessons From The ShackletonExpedition” by Harvard research historian Nancy Koehn – is the story of the Antarctic-bound ship appropriately-namedThe Endurance which became trapped in thick Arctic ice for 2 years. Ernest Shackletontook his ship and crew on what began as a bold, history-making vision to be thefirst men to walk across the continent but within a year life-threatening conditionsupended those plans completely. “A man mustshape himself to a new mark directly the old one goes to ground,” he wrote inhis diary, and the record shows that his ability to quickly and completely letgo of the original plan and create a new one in real time led to his entirecrew’s survival against overwhelming odds. “I was struck by Shackleton’sability to respond to constantly changing circumstances. When his expeditionencountered serious trouble, he had to reinvent the team’s goals. He had begunthe voyage with a mission of exploration, but it quickly became a mission ofsurvival,” writes Koehn. “This capacity is vital in our own time, when leadersmust often change course midstream — jettisoning earlier standards of successand redefining their purposes and plans.”
     Therapists and trainers are constantly engaged with people having toreshape their goals and redefine their identity because of unpredictablecircumstances. When life redirects our course and there is no going back, lettinggo of the person we used to be is the pivot upon which a successful futureturns. Another New York Times article ("When Injuries to the Brain Tear at Hearts") speaks to this through a story aboutinterventions with couples when one partner has a traumatic brain injury, whichoften results in personality changes that dramatically alters the emotionallandscape of a marriage. QuotingVirginia Commonwealth Univeristy psychologist Emilie Godwin, the article statesthat although some familiar tools in thetherapeutic toolbox for couples are useful in these situations – like communicationskills, focusing on the positive in one another, taking time for fun andromance – the core of the work is “asking people to just look forward, to notlook back at all. To try to recreate a relationship.”
     When a paradigm shifts, and “everything goes back to zero,” we bring all that we are and have developed within ourselves to the challenge ofreinventing our dreams and our attitudes. Shackleton brought his emotional intelligence, personal courage and strength to the task of improvising a structure ofactivity that kept his men engaged with life and with each other rather thansinking into despair for 2 long years in catastrophic conditions. Living with alife-changing injury or catastrophic loss that redefines our roles is a similarprocess of improvisation.
    Wecan develop and maintain the psychological “muscle” needed for thinking on thefly and effective responses to uncertainty through the practice of letting go.Let go of old, unrealized dream. Take a hard look at habits of thinking oraction that are familiar but futile. Release what is no longer working. Thecreative tension produced by unloading the past prepares us to deal with theunexpected. We become more flexible and adaptable. We can shape our futurerather than wait to be shaped by it.

Nicholas Wolff facilitates a weekly professional training group in Experiential/Action Methods for therapists, counselors, educators and trainers. Contact him about participation in this visionary group by calling 631-366-4265 or email: lifestage_2000@yahoo.com

Creative Courage: Improv and Freedom To Flail, Fail, Flop and Flounder

2012-01-08T12:50:00.000-08:00

by Jude Treder-Wolff

    Friday nights at 6 p.m. The Pit-NYC offers a free, drop-in improv jam they call Happy Hour. It has all the "you've-had-a-hard-week-just-have-some-fun" ethos of any conventional Happy Hour, minus the alcohol and the self-pity. Everyone puts their name in a jar. The host pulls 2 names. Those two people get up on stage. A suggestion is offered from the audience. Lights go out. A Beat. Lights go up. The scene begins, then unfolds through a series of offers and responses. Two minutes - lights out. Scene over. New names. New scene. And so on. This "anything goes" and anyone-is-welcome improv event is unpredictable enough to induce tension but warm and supportive at the same time; it provides exhilerating relief from the stresses of the week, the intensity of the city just a few feet away, and the thinking thinking thinking self that can never work it all out but never lets up.
   What makes this a kind of spiritual process is the faith required to do it. Faith that the people who show up will keep the agreements that make improv work, e.g. accept all offers, respect your partner and make them look good; choose moving the scene forward over ego; contribute and let go of control over outcomes. In this context, faith is freedom.
    Freedom to flail. The structured world of work, business and community trains us to be so structured in our thinking that many people feel extremely uncomfortable and self-conscious in any situation that might remotely involve "flailing." And there are everyday situations that feed our discomfort with not-knowing - the ridiculous ego needs of people we must deal with every day, systems we must navigate set up by institutions that take forever to change, colleagues who willfully crush others' chances out of rank self-interest, the eyes of others on our children's behavior ready to pounce on our parenting skills, to name a few. And yet the creative mind -with all it's rich potential to come up with an idea that blows away the competition or sparks the best behavior in the kids, - revels in flailing, as long as we can stay with it long enough to have some fun. To flail we have to put aside self-conscious pondering and competition. The two-minute limit of the short-form improv leaves enough time to enjoy some time in the spotlight but not get carried away with ourselves.
    Freedom to fail. With the nonstop competitive business world and the demands of family life in the Age of Complexity we are under constant pressure to perform. We don't often feel there is room for failure and are often unfairly harsh with ourselves when things do not work out as we hoped or planned. Improv blows past the fear of failure by making it part of the whole experience. In feeling the freedom to fail, we learn to flow with it as part of the creative process. Innovators, inventive thinkers, and entrepeneurs with this attitude make the most out of every "failure" - usually by looking honestly at what does not work and searching to understand why.
   Freedom to Flop. Being in a scene that goes nowhere. Standing silent and blank onstage while others make offers we cannot work with simply because we have shut down. Being self-conscious and really feeling it. In a 2-minute scene for which we have a split-second warm-up, these can happen easily and often - something to be genuinely happy about. To find a place in life where it is okay to look hapless, have a brain freeze and then just move on is an amazing thing. This is the closest we can get to full-on acceptance of our flawed self because it happens in front of a group of people who will applaud the effort. And who want your support when it happens to them.
   Freedom To Flounder. Creative thoughts and truly innovative breakthroughs can come in a stream of consciousness that is one of the most exciting and spiritual experiences a person can have in this life. But floundering is often what puts the "break" in "breakthrough."What breaks apart during a "floundering" phase of anything new - a new role or phase in life, a new project, idea or plan - is usually structured thinking that is obsolete but laid into our minds much like the grain in wood. It feels natural to follow the familiar, and to go in new directions feels wrong, fearful, even shame-inducing. So we flounder in order to break things up. We learn to tolerate the discomfort through the group's acceptance. We discover the scene by being in it, just as we are. Just as we discover the gifts hidden within mistakes and missteps by accepting and mining them for meaning.
   The Happy Hour-style improv jam can be a release of the tensions of the week and it does indeed bring about feelings of joy. The peeople who show up - always true at the Happy Hour events I attend - will remind you that showing up in life is a creative choice. They will be grateful for your openness and humanity. They will thank you for playing.

Five Arguments For Therapists, Trainers & Educators To Learn Experiential/Action Methods

2012-01-02T12:38:00.000-08:00

by Nicholas Wolff, LCSW, BCD, TEP

Full Disclosure: I am a trainer in experiential/action methods, a psychodrama Trainer, Educator, and Practitioner with a long career history of using these methods in clinical practice and a you-name-it-I've-been-there list of professional training situations. That is to say, I believe in this stuff. If action methods were the hair club for men, I'd not only be a spokesperson, I'd be a member. So here are five - out of many - arguments for academics, clinicians and trainers of every stripe to receive training in these methods, supported by some studies from a range of disciplines:
1. In the Information Age, learning must be integrative.
When Harvard physicist professor Eric Mazur looked into the effectiveness of the lecture method of teaching physics, he discovered that after an entire semester students understood only 14% of the concepts they had memorized. "Students have to be active in developing their knowledge," he says. "They can't passively assimilate it." His innovations include group interaction, group process and active discussions about the class content. The results show that in this age of easily accessible information, the instructor's role needs to shift from "the sage on the stage" to "the guide on the side." (Physicists Seek To Lose Lecture As Teaching Tool, NPR transcript)

2.To Train Others To "Possibility Thinking" We Have To Be "Possibility" Thinkers
Children think in terms of possibilities - the "what if" approach to the world - until we shut that down with repeated explanations of "what is." We can all agree there is nothing wrong with explaining the way the world works to children, but possibility thinkers keep an open mind about how it could, might or should work. Drama and imaginative experiences connect us to the "what if" mind set, regardless of our age, education level, or problems. This a serious idea that is leading innovation in the field of primary education and upon which psychodramatists and trainers who work experientially base their approach. Check out these journal articles: "Documenting 'Possibility Thinking': A Journal of Collaborative Inquiry" and "Pedagogy and possibility thinking in the early years" from the journal Thinking Skills and Creativity.

3.The Pace of Change is Accelerating - Creative Methods Enhance Adaptability To Change
Life is not about being balanced, it is about the act of balancing. Stanford University professor Patricia Ryan Madson writes about a key life skill learned through training in improvisation, something she calls "embracing the wobble." Like riding a bicycle or skiing, there are physical activities that are nonstop feats of balance - "Things are not stable, linear or predictable," she writes in Improv Wisdom. "The situation is always in flux. Our footing keeps changing. Even if we succeed in finding solid ground for a while, we can depend on the fact that it will eventually change." And just as reading a map is not the same thing as taking the trip, the experience of uncertainty in a safe, supportive learning or therapeutic environment is uniquely helpful in gaining the skills for balancing in life.
4.Life Is Unpredictable. Train For It.
Cockpit, surgical and police teams work in the most tense, dynamic situations, and the latest advances in their training includes simulations - or fully realized role-plays of events that happen in the field - communication and assertiveness skills, and creative thinking skills. When it comes down to those dynamic, dramatic moments that people in these professions encounter, the life-or-death decisions have as much as to do with relationships and trust among the team, the capacity to take in the nuances of the situation and to be inventive on the fly. If experiential methods are effective in training for what those guys have to deal with, think about their value in learning to cope with the uncertainty of the classroom or consulting room. ("Strategies to Improve Cockpit Resource Management," Aviation Knowledge; Crew Resource Management and Team Training," Anesthiology Clinic
5.Everything is connected.
Albert Einstein's famously said that "Imagination is more important than knowledge" and he argued all his life for the benefits of creativity to academic learning and personal development. Guided, creative, interactive experiences enrich new learning by integrating it with the development of a creative process and relationships with other people. In the networked world that Einstein's scientific breakthroughs made possible, it is more important than ever that we provide clients, students and trainees with the tools to create and sustain relationships, for both personal and professional satisfaction.

Nicholas Wolff, LCSW, BCD, TEP facilitates a weekly professional training group in experiential action methods at Lifestage, Inc. The group meets Wednesday evenings 7-9 p.m. To contact him to discuss participation in this group call 631-366-4265 or email him at bookings@lifestage.org

Mindfulness: If Shifting Attention Can Create Inner Peace, Anything Is Possible

2011-12-27T22:20:00.000-08:00

"The only peace we find at the top of mountains" goes an an old Zen saying, "is the peace we brought up there with us." And yet we tend to search outside ourselves - and outside our daily existence - for inner quiet we hope will clear emotional fog and calm turbulent thoughts that seem unavoidable. Nearly every day, we all face the question of how much we will allow circumstances to control our attitude and choices. Traffic jams. Economic unpredictability. Incompetence that costs us time and money. A sick child on a day full of appointments. Daily situations beyond our control can wear on our last nerve, push us past our emotional reserves. The trick is to develop a mind-and-skill set that helps us reframe life’s dilemmas, disappointments, and difficulties as creative choices – by working on them the same, focused way we learn technique in piano or dance or painting. By learning the techniques in a gradual and relaxed way when the pressure is off so they are ready to roll when the pressure is on.

     The factthat we can rethink our old, automatic mental habits, create new roles and changeour minds through new learning for the entire length of our lives - thescientific term is “neuro-plasticity – really is good news, especially in thesetimes of accelerated change and increasing complexity. Some effort andcommitment are required but there is good news here too, in the form ofevidence-based methods like Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, (MBSR). Nina Thorne, LCSW, an MBSR teacher, clinical social worker and educator - who will facilitate an 8-week MBSR program at Peconic Yoga in Riverhead, NY from January 17 - March 6, 2012 - describes the method as “a variety of both formal andinformal practices which can be utilized to train the mind to stay in thepresent moment. We learn to live,where life takes place,-in the present moment. Mindfulness fosters enhancedattention to and awareness of present moment reality. This attention helps usto get off automatic pilot behavior.”
     Relationshipsare an ongoing exchange of energy between our inner self and the world aroundus, so there is direct link between our capacity to see our automatic,ingrained habits of mind, defenses, and emotions without judgment and the waywe will function in partnerships of every kind. “Intimate relationships have abetter chance of surviving when partners are able to maintain emotionalintimacy during difficult circumstances,” Thorne explains.”Mindfulness trainingcan help individuals to remain open and receptive even when emotions have beenhurt and -disagreements are strong by fostering the ability to respondthoughtfully/mindfully even when angry. A mindful person is less likely to beimpulsive and insensitive.”
     Getting beyondthe automatic, mechanical reactions – which might rightly be called “mindless”since we experience them as something not in our conscious control – is aprocess that opens us to an inner space of greater receptivity to not only ourpartner’s point of view, but to a more compassionate acceptance of our own human flaws and failings. According to Thorne, who studied with Jon Kabat-Zinn, creator of the Mindfulness-Based Stress ReductionProgram at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center, "being moremindful helps the practitioner stay centered in life’s ups and downs. Researchin neuroscience has shown that mindfulness practice actually changes thestructures of the brain, offering protection from stress, anxiety and possiblyaging related impact on the brain."
Some evidence for the benefits of MBSR:

· Research published in the journal Stress and Health showed that participation in an 8-week MBSR program significantly reduced stress levels while enhancing positive states of mind and the sense of self- value. (Vickie Y. Chang, et al “The effects of a mindfulness-based stress reduction program on stress, mindfulness self-efficacy, and positive states of mind,” Stress and Health, Vol. 2: 3, August 2004)

· The journal Emotion published a study involving individuals with social anxiety disorder that showed improvement in anxiety symptoms and depression as well as enhanced self-esteem after an MBSR program. (Philippe R. Goldin & James J Gross, "Effects of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) on Emotion Regulation in Social Anxiety Disorder," Emotion, Vol 10, No. 1, 2010)

The Journal of the AmericanMedical Association identfied mindfulness as "characteristic of good clinical practice" among medical professionals. Mindful medical practitioners utilize “a varietyof means to enhance their ability to engage in moment-to-momentself-monitoring, bring to consciousness their tacit personal knowledge anddeeply held values, use peripheral vision and subsidiary awareness to becomeaware of new information and perspectives, and adopt curiosity in both ordinaryand novel situations. In contrast, mindlessness may account for some deviationsfrom professionalism and errors in judgment and technique. (R.M. Epstein, “Mindful Practice” Journal ofthe American Medical Association, Volume: 282, Issue: 9(1999): 833-839,)
The PsychotherapyNetworker - the premier resource forcutting-edge information about the theory and practice of psychotherapy - dedicatedan entire issue to the rise in importance of MBSR to psychotherapy and providesongoing Continuing Education about its application for therapists.
James O’Dea of the Institute of Noetic Scienceswrites about studies that show how even “a slight turning of attention and a subtleredirecting of intention can shift the entire landscape of lived experience.Transformation is not so much a change of the person but a change inperspective. It is a profound shift in our human experience of consciousnessthat results in long-lasting alterations in worldview—how one experiences andrelates to oneself, others, culture, nature and the divine.” (James O’Dea et al, “The Shift Report: Evidence of a World Transforming” (Petaluma, CA: Institute of Noetic Sciences, 2007):64).

Through mindfulness training, "we notice our own imperfections arising when we sit in

Nina Thorne, LCSW

meditation," states Thorne. "We begin to realize that, as a species, we are interconnected through our hopes, dreams, limitations, strengths and frailties. Truly understanding this can make us more compassionate, empathic partners who are able to stay connected emotionally.”

Nina Thorne is a member of Mindfulness Meditation New York Collaborative and studied MBSR in Mind-Body Medicine in a Residential Program with Jon Kabat-Zinn & Saki Santorelli, Residential Practicum in MBSR with Florence Meleo-Meyer & Melissa Blacker, and Residential Teacher Development Intensive. More information about the January MBSR program is available on her website.

Jude Treder-Wolff, LCSW, RMT, CGP is a creative arts therapist, trainer/consultnat, writer and performer currently putting together the 2012 schedule of her new show CrAzYToWn

SCIENCE FRIDAY ON NPR Dec. 16, 2012 to Feature Music Therapy

2011-12-15T22:17:00.000-08:00

The Friday December 16, 2011 broadcast of Science Friday with Ira Flatow is a rare opportunity to hear experts in the field discuss the brilliant applications of music therapy happening in medical treatment right now. More and more hospitals and clinics now offer music therapy as a supplementary treatment for everything from anxiety to Alzheimer’s, but its efficacy varies for different conditions.
Panelists are:

Neurologist Oliver Sacks, M.D. of Columbia University Medical Center, New York, author of The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat, Awakenings, a noted researcher and author of numerous academic works;
Concetta Tomaino of the Institute for Music and Neurologic Function at Beth Abraham Family of Health Services in the Bronx, NY, groundbreaking and internationally recognized programs use music therapy to assist the "awakening and healing" of individuals with a wide range of neurological conditions including strokes, trauma, dementia, Alzheimer's and Parkinson's diseases.
Joke Bradt, Associate Professor, Creative Arts Therapies Dept at Drexel University in Philadelphia, PA,
Andrew Rossetti, Radiation Oncology Louis Armstrong Center for Music & Medicine. Beth Israel Medical Center

THE "GEORGE BAILEY" EFFECT: Its A Wonderful Thing

2011-12-12T09:48:00.000-08:00

Jimmy Stewart as George Bailey in
Its A Wonderful Life

When It’s a WonderfulLife came out in 1946 - Frank Capra’s film about a suicidal manwhose guardian angel shows him what the world would be like had he never beenborn – audiences were lukewarm. Reviewswere mixed- The New Yorker hated it - and earnings barely covered what it costto make. It wasn’t until regular airings around Christmastime on TV fostered adedicated audience that critics took a 2^nd look – nearly fourdecades after it came out. Now we can hardly imagine the holiday season withoutthe story of George Bailey, whose lifetime of dreams delayed for the sake ofothers and then denied by circumstance comes to a pivotal moment wheneverything he is and has given to the world comes into focus and he sees thereality that he is, in fact, “the richest man in town.”

Like George Bailey, many people are seeing their fortunes crash and hopes crushed by this roller-coaster economy, family stress, or circumstances beyond their control. To suggest “it's a wonderful life” to a person facing unemployment or loss of a loved one is insensitive and callous, but something researchers call the “George Bailey Effect” can be found through a self-empowerment technique that yields an upsurge in positivity and psychological strength to face what must be faced. The effect occurs through telling our story through the lense of "what if" a specific event or relationship had never happened, e.g. "What if I had never met my partner? What if I had never gone back to school? "What if I had left my relationship instead of working on it?"

"'What if' thinking is always a bit tricky. Too much focus on 'what might have been' can mire us in regrets and feelings of powerlessness or keep us from savoring our good fortunes," writes Wray Herbert on the Scientific American blog. "But some scientists are beginning to think that imagining an alternative reality might have ironic and tonic effects, and indeed might be a practical tool for strengthening commitment to country, workplace and relationships."

The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology published resultsshowing that this exercise significantly increased participants’ level ofpositive emotion – much more than the participants who were asked to write thestory about how they met their life partner. Another study – published online in Psychological Science - asked participants to focus on imagining "what if" specific events in their company's or their country's history had not occurred. Imagining their group's story minus specific stressful events that had threatened the group was found to deepen the participants' level of commitment to the group. We applied these findings in a "Navigating Transitions" workshop at Lifestage, using an adaptation of this exercise with people going through unexpected and dramatic change. In a writing and verbal sharing exercise participants were instructed to reflect on both sides of the "what if" question with regard to the transition they faced. By focusing on "what if" the transitional event had not occurred they were able to articulate and express not only what was lost, but also the transformative aspects of their unexpected life situation - the new people they had met, the talents unearthed, andinner strength discovered in the process of getting through a rough experience.
Just as GeorgeBailey’s darkest moments are the opening to seeing his life in a new light, itis just this co-mingling of light and dark in the same experiences that renderthem rich with meaning. To a recovering addict, the lowest low is often theturning point toward an entirely new and wonderful path. The torturous ending of one phase of lifecontains seeds of possibilities for the next. We can use this knowledge – andthese techniques – to have more energy and creativity to rise above difficultcircumstances and focus on the richness within ourselves and in ourrelationships. “Unlike the movie It’s a Wonderful Life,” write theresearchers who gave us the “George Bailey” effect “it is not necessary for anangel to show us what the world would look like if we had never been born.Instead, spending a few minutes mentally subtracting a good thing from ourlives can make us feel better.” And If the difference we make to others in thisworld – if depth of relationship and appreciation for what we contribute couldbe measured in dollars - many of us would feel very rich indeed.

Jude Treder-Wolff is a trainer, writer, and performer, currently performing her one-woman storytelling-with-music show CrAzYToWn.

Self-Awareness Workshop Using the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator

2011-12-05T13:54:00.001-08:00

Facilitator:Laura Grossman,

ACSW,LCSW-R, CASAC, Certified MBTI practitioner

"Whatever the circumstances of your life,

the understanding of type can make your perceptions clearer,

your judgments sounder, and your life closer to your heart's desire."

Isabel Briggs Myers

DATE: Thursday Feb. 2, 6-9 p.m.

LOCATION: Lifestage, Inc. 496 Smithtown Bypass Suite 202 Smithtown NY 11787

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) workshop is a fascinating opportunity to explore your personal style and preferences and use that information to improve relationships, maximize opportunities for learning and growth and realize potential. According to the Myers-Briggs Foundation, the essence of the theory behind the MBTI is that “seemingly random variation in the behavior is actually quite orderly and consistent, due to basic differences in the ways individuals prefer to use their perception and judgment.”

Consider:

· In a large group, do you more often introduce others, or get introduced?

· Overall, when working on an assignment, do you tend to figure out what needs to be done as you go along, or begin by breaking it down into steps?

· When making a decision, is it more important to you to weigh the facts, or consider people’s feelings and opinions?

· If you are working on a project that is due in a week, do you take time to list the separate things to be done and the order of doing them, or plunge in?

TheMBTI is a valid and reliable scientific instrument that has been used for over40 years as a method to assess personality types, and an extremely useful guideto understanding;

· Yourlearning style and approach to teaching others or parenting;

· Differences in relationships with friends,partners, and children;

· How personality type can help you work betterwith others and manage your own work;

· Stages of personal growth and development andtools to navigate each one;

· The unique gifts you bring to your life athome and work;

· Insights that unravel puzzling interactions;

· How to best foster cooperation andappreciation in your personal and professional relationships.

Registration deadline January 10, 2012

Fee: $50, check payable to Lifestage, Inc.

Or online at brownpapertickets.com

Less Pressure, More Joy: A Professional Organizer Recommends "Less Stress" Holidays

2011-12-03T17:59:00.001-08:00

Time is a gift. Spend it freely
with people you love.

     Supermarket check-out lines abound with idea-intensive magazines which either inspire us to a decorating-and-designing frenzy or leave us drowning in guilt and inadequacy over all the fabulous crafts, cookies and creations we have no time for or fear we could never achieve. The relentless pressure to have the best holidays that money can buy and perfectly deck our heavily-mortgaged halls can wear us down at the time we most want our spirits up. In her “Less Stress Holiday” workshops and in consultations with private clients, Professional Organizer and Life Coach Donna Jaroslawski recommends what she calls “the anti-idea perspective: Simplify. Streamline. Do less so you can enjoy more.”
       Beyond the clear financial benefits of rethinking this “more-is-more” mindset we can realize an almost immediately positive impact on relationships. “We can eat and spend less but do more,” says Jaroslawski, “For example, go for a walk to see holiday lights rather than having a food focused evening.” (For a list of spectacular Long Island holiday lighting displays click here.) “Engage kids in making gifts – a fun holiday tradition with your kids that produces an inexpensive but thoughtful gift with personal meaning,” she recommends.
      Letting go of the external pressures and thinking for ourselves is a central message in Jaroslawski’s presentations - click here for a complete list of topics - as well as in coaching individual clients to reduce the actual clutter in their homes, reassess cluttered schedules and understand the inner and outer forces that drive us to overdo, overbook, and overspend. “Less stress is about changing expectations, and we shouldn’t expect things to go perfectly,” she explains “Don’t try to keep up with what you perceive everyone else is doing,” she advises. “Tune into what brings YOU joy.”
Some more suggestions for family-and-friendship-focused streamlining from the “Less-Stress Holidays” workshops:

Take Dad or Mom on a holiday errand with you and turn it into a family memory;
Bring 2 families together with yours for a holiday meal – and make it a pot luck (the hostesss doesn’t cook);
Invite friends to family celebrations. It’s quality time with friends (and keep your family on their best behavior);
When buying your Christmas tree take a family photo – use it as your holiday card;
Think in multiples when shopping, e.g. hostess gifts, “thank-you” gifts for kids’ teachers and other people who provide a service, older relatives, etc.
Shop for out of town relatives on the internet and have it shipped directly to the recipient;
Let your fingers do the walking … call to make sure a store has what you need in stock;
Put a dollar limit on what to spend on each person – and stick to it!

"Take time to think about how you will feel about your decisions in January," Jaroslawski suggests. Contact her by email: donna@libertyorganizing.com or phone: 516.635-2007.

Jude Treder-Wolff is a trainer/consultant
and writer/performer.

Continue reading on Examiner.com The Week Ahead: December 5-12 Less Stress, More Joy = Healthier Relationships - Long Island Interpersonal Relationships | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/interpersonal-relationships-in-long-island/the-week-ahead-december-5-12-less-stress-more-joy-healthier-relationships#ixzz1fWlvM0Ex

SHIFTS HAPPEN: Using Action Methods With Researchers, Academics and Policy-Makers

2011-12-01T13:38:00.001-08:00

Nick Wolff, LCSW, BCD, TEP

      A workshop my wife and I presented at the annualconference of the Association for Medical Education and Research in Substance Abuse titled “Shifts Happen: Creative Strategies forStress-Resilience and Burn-Out Prevention”- in early November convinced me oftwo things:
1)   Researchers,academics and policy-makers tend to have very little exposure toexperiential/action methods - and trainers in these methods need to reach outto them far more than we do;
2)   Whenreaching out to researchers, academics, and policy-makers, be sure to includePower Point.

  The format of this workshopincluded carefully-designed improvisation and warm-up exercises, alternatingwith 5-7 minutes of Power Point that explained why these experiences werechosen and the research that supports their value, as well as writing in a journalprovided with the workshop materials. While participants were encouraged toshare verbally, they were free to confine the expression of their thoughts andfeelings to writing in the journal and to continue with that practice goingforward in their professional lives.
     The exercises were simple andhighly-focused on making specific points, to honor the academic nature of thegroup and at the same time demonstrate the power of experience to producecognitive shifts. An example:
      We asked participants towrite in the journal for 3-4 minutes about what they expected an experientialexercise to be like, to review and record their assumptions. Participants were then instructed to walk freely aroundthe workshop space and avoid make any eye contact with anyone else – to look atanything and everything except the other people – for 30 seconds. This wasfollowed by 30 seconds of walking about the workshop space while making eyecontact – but not interact with - everyone in the group at least twice. This was followed by 30 seconds of1-word interactions with everyone while making eye contact.

Journaling/Discussionpoints:

What were you aware of within yourself during the 30 seconds ofavoiding eye contact?
What were you aware of within yourself during the 30seconds of seeking eye contact without words?
How did the 1-word-rule influenceyour experience and/or behavior?
What was it like to use a word to interactwith others?

The Power Point and lectureportion then described the neuroscience behind social learning experiences aswell as research about journaling and self-expression to produce cognitiveshifts that lead to enhanced self-care.

The exercises were designed along acontinuum from least to greatest psychological risk, always punctuated by aPower Point section with discussion. The final exercise, e.g. was selected toprovide an experience of uncertainty – the group in a tight circle, one memberat a time in the center walked straight ahead with eyes closed while groupmembers gently redirected that person back toward the center by placing handson shoulders and turning them – which provided material for much discussionabout (among other things but these were some of the connections participantsmade to this material):

· The way that policy redirects and shapesreal peoples’ lives

· The significance of a therapist or counselorto redirect the path of a persons’ life

· The power of social support when we are intimes or situations of uncertainty

Presenting at a research/policy-focused conference was an entirely new experience for me and it opened up my thinking inimportant ways. As a psychodrama and group psychotherapy trainer I tend to value the experiential over the rational but had I approached thisworkshop from that frame it would have been a missed opportunity to reach a newaudience for our methods. I was definitely out of my own comfort zone, and gladto have the always-reliable tool of role-reversal to imagine myself in the mindset of the group, which maximized the meaning of the material for them.

Read and download the Power Point for this presentation from SlideShare
Learn about the Association for Medical Education and Research in Substance Abuse

Contact Nick Wolff at 631-366-4265 or by email at lifestage_2000@yahoo.com.

Five Gifts That Put The "Happy" In Holidays

2011-11-29T14:54:00.001-08:00

Jude Treder-Wolff writes about
Interpersonal Relationships for Examiner.com

Tis the season of giving, the time to make memories with the people we love. But the degree of pressure to produce perfect dinners and parties and presents is a prescription can leave us more overwhelmed than overjoyed. We can get so caught up in the momentum that we lose the moment. With economic tensions adding to everyone’s worries, now is the best of times to let go of the search for “hot” toys or crazy cool technology to amaze and surprise our loved ones, and look instead for ways to create experiences that make enduring, positive memories with them. Here are five building blocks of experiences that form a child’s ideas about what it means to be happy.

It’s not what we give, it’s how. In the end, what we – and our kids - recall about family holiday time is how it felt to be there. “Busy busy busy.” “Overworked.” “Stretched in a million different directions.” “Resentful.” “Exhausted.” These are the words participants at a professional workplace “Healthier Holidays” seminar used to describe what they remember about their parents’ state of mind over the holidays as they were growing up. As hard-working parents who found themselves trapped in a similar cycle of externally-driven obligation and stress in the name of making their children happy, this exercise helped to reframe and let go of some misery-inducing, ingrained patterns of thinking.
Be there. Consciously choosing where to dedicate our attention requires a combination of knowing our values and our limits. Honoring our own limits saves our energy for fun-with-family-and-friends and enhances our ability to fully engage with what is happening when everyone is together.

Continue reading on Examiner.com Five Gifts That Put The "Happy" in Holidays - Long Island Interpersonal Relationships | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/interpersonal-relationships-in-long-island/five-gifts-that-put-the-happy-holidays#ixzz1f8bT3jAc

MIND OVER MARKETING: Use Creative Thinking Skills To Avoid Emotional Hijacking

2011-11-28T09:21:00.001-08:00

by Jude Treder-Wolff, LCSW,RMT, CGP

Sayyou believe you can taste the difference between Coke and Pepsi. In fact, youare certain that Coke has a distinct flavor that you not only prefer, but wouldrecognize easily. Most of us view our product preferences as self-evident andconsciously chosen, with little or no emotion involved. But a professor ofneuroscience at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, Texas showed that brandloyalty is deeply emotional - located in the same parts of our brain activatedby friendship and positive emotional bonds. Using an MRI machine to view andrecord brain activity, the researchers found that people with a distinct,stated preference for Coke over Pepsi showed brain activity in areas dealingwith trust and memory when they drank from glasses marked "Coke," evenwhen what they were actually drinking was Pepsi. (1) Neuroscience - and the field of neuro-marketing which applies this knowledge to create persuasive, emotion-driven advertising - is showing us important information that we need to know if we are to have any chance of thinking for ourselves, especially in the consumer frenzy that the holiday season has become. Marketing to our emotions hijacks what we think we know about our capacity to choose.

The Journal of the American MedicalAssociation published a study which found that when a pain medication wasdescribed to people as expensive, it was experiencedas more effective. The same substance given to another group and told it wasvery inexpensive, reported significantly less effectiveness. (2). And FortuneSmall Business reported the success of marketing an utterly convincing,scientific-sounding idea that wascompletely false. The Riedel wine glass was marketed as having the perfect shapeto make beverages taste better. Each type of Reidel glass is matched to the“message” of the liquid inside, a brilliant story told in a such a convincingway that wine connoisseurs insist the glasses make a profound difference, yetdouble-blind tests that eliminate any chance the subject would know the shapeof the glass demonstrate that the shape does not in any way influence thetaste (3).

Research shows thatdespite what we think we think, labels and the meaning attached to them –e.g. that higher prices implies better quality, that buying a product connectsus to a distinct group of people - are powerful determinants of the choices wemake. So it’s not just that our child can be a Toys “R” Us kid, it’s the senseof belonging to the Toys “R” Us world that persuades us. Corporate Americawants us to believe that Delta, or Doublemint, or our Dodge dealer want to havea relationship with us, and the hungrier we are for that sense of specialness,the more easily we are seduced by this promise of connection. We are sold onjust about everything, including God and all that goes with the search forconnection and meaning and something to elevate us, anything that seems to havethe magic we think we lack.

Creative, engaging commercials easily get past ourdefenses and with enough repetition their messages become confused with actualinformation. They provoke our loneliness, our spiritual hunger, our fears aboutnot being enough, then show us the magical way to fill the need. And here’s the kicker, something we should all keep in mind when making decisions about ohow to spend our time and money. We spend more when we are sad and focused on ourselves, and we will very likely not be aware that we are doing so. Emotions such as fear, anger,disgust and resentment trigger more spending and again, while we may be aware of the feelings, we will very likely not be aware of their connection to shopping choices. Here are some ideas about how to strengthen resilience to all the media-driven triggers – whether advertising geared that hijacks our sense of truth and reason or the 24/7 news cycle that can trigger feelings of helplessness or sadness – also, thankfully, borne out by research:

Creative challenges stimulate the same reward system of brain chemistry as marketing and shopping, but without the hangover of debt or emotional emptiness. Dopamine - the brain chemical that gives us the "feel good" rush that comes with winning/shopping/feeling special, is produced in the oldest part of the brain, the brainstem, but released in the newest, the cortex, where we think, decide and plan.

"We feelrewarded when we create new objects or actions,” writes James Zull, professorof biology at Case Western University,“and since creativity is based on the decisions made by the creator, the rewardsystem kicks in when we are in control and inventing things that we havethought of ourselves. Freedom and ownership are part and parcel of theneurochemistry of the arts.” (4) Thanksto this research, we know that creative experiences change thebrain, and is a kind of "teflon" that protects us from the assaults of advertising that constantly remind us of what we think we need.

Change your brain by practicing gratitude. Science now shows us what many spiritually-minded people already know intuitively: that when we take responsibility for our own happiness we make better choices, and that conscious awareness of and gratitude for what we do have going for us raises energy and life satisfaction, which in turn helps us do what it takes to change external circumstances.

Dr.Robert Emmons, an author and researcher who studies the effects of gratitude on personality and well-being at UC Davis finds direct benefits to health and happiness through keeping a gratitude journal:

In an experimental comparison, those who kept gratitude journals on a weekly basis exercised more regularly, reported fewer physical symptoms, felt better about their lives as a whole, and were more optimistic about the upcoming week compared to those who recorded hassles or neutral life events (Emmons & McCullough,)

A related benefit was observed in the realm of personal goal attainment: Participants who kept gratitude lists were more likely to have made progress toward important personal goals (academic, interpersonal and health-based) over a two-month period compared to subjects in the other experimental conditions.

Focus on the experience over the appearance of an event or activity.

Have fun. What makes enduring memories is how we feel when is together. This is something we all know from our own lived experience. But now we can also say Thank You Science!!

(1) (Samuel M. McClure et al, “Neural Correlates of Behavioral Preference for CulturallyFamiliar Drinks,” Neuron 44.2 (2004): 379.
(2) Dan Ariely et al, “Commerical Features of Placebo and Therapeutic Efficacy,” Journalof the American Medical Association 299.9 (March 5, 2008): 1016
(3)(Seth Godin, “Be a Better Liar,” Fortune SmallBusiness, 1 May 2005
(4) James Zull, “Arts, Neuroscience and Learning,” New Horizons for Learning (March 2005): para. 10. 20 Nov. 2005 .

Just Keep Trying; Long Island Playwright Jack Canfora Shares The Secret of His Success

2011-10-24T09:53:00.000-07:00

59E59 Theater Feb. 9 - Mar 4, 2012
59 E. 59th St. (Park/Madison)
New York, NY

by Jude Treder-Wolff, LCSW, RMT, CGP

About 2 years ago I attended a staged reading of a play called Jericho at the Rattlestick Theater in Manhattan. The playwright, Jack Canfora, is a teacher of 11th and 12th grade English at Plainview Old Bethpage John F. Kennedy High School on Long Island and an actor who, in 1993, performed the opening monologue of the first (and only) full-length play I ever wrote. Unfortunately for Jack, the monologue was his character’s only appearance in the play, so he had to hang around backstage for the entire show to participate in the company bow at curtain. Fortunately for me and the entire cast, he did this graciously and with a lot of humor. That is commitment.

Amazingly entertaining and strikingly serious at the same time, Jericho deals with the effects of 9/11 on two New Yorkers directly affected by the attacks and coping in very different ways. It won the 2011 Edgarton Foundation New Play Award, recently completed a full production at The New Jersey Repertory in Long Branch, NJ, and richly, deservedly praised in the Oct. 23 New York Times review. I cried all the way to the subway and on the long train ride home after that reading of this play. The characters lived in my thoughts for weeks as they continued to evoke real emotions in me as if these were real people whose lives directly connected to mine. We all struggle to live with these stories and images indelibly written into our narrative and seared into our soul. But the impact of storytelling through live theater comes mainly through its the power to entertain. Describing himself as “a sucker for dialogue,” Canfora displays a love of language through verbal workplay that is just, well, very funny and great to listen to, but not at all out of place even dealing such a dramatic subject. That’s commitment plus mastery. That is art.
Jack's hard work was also reward recently with The Abingdon Theater's Christopher Brian Wolk Award for his play Poetic License which will be performed off-Broadway in 2012. Commitment is central to the making of art in the same way that daily, dedicated, usually gradual training is central to qualifying for a marathon. “I wish I did have a method,” Jack explains when asked about his creative process. “I just keep trying. I've had very few ‘Eureka’ moments as a playwright. I have this romantic vision of artists channeling their creativity in great, flaming bursts like the montage sequences from "Amadeus" or "Shakespeare in Love" but it's just repeated attempts for me. Sometimes it flows better than others but I've found that's not a guarantee of quality.” A guitarist and singer/songwriter – he’s the Canfora half of the guitar duo Canfora and Koenig who perform all over New York and wrote some music for the production of Jericho - he cites the influence of musicians John Lennon and Elvis Costello as well as playwrights Arthur Miller and Edward Albee among the artists whose work inspired and helped shape his own. “The nice thing about theater,” Canfora states, as well as, “I would submit any art form -- is that, when it's done right, we learn something collectively.” The great thing about great playsis the opportunity to witness the potential of even a single encounter with another person to change someone’s thinking. We observe the way an intersection of experiences can redirect a person’s life.

Art is healing the way good psychotherapy is healing: when it raises questions that may have no answers but in the effort to examine them we are more alive and awake, which can galvanize our creative energy to engage with the problems we face. Art is a way to use everything inside us – including and sometimes especially our hate, rage, and resentment – to make something of value that lives outside us. Jack Canfora’s hilarious and hard-hitting art can get inside your head and not let go. And whatever our goal or dream in life, we can also take hold of and apply the secret to his success. To be fair, he has a blazing talent to work with, but the important thing is to do something we love enough to stick with it through all the repetitive, frustrating parts of the process. Because we have to find ways to tell our own story, not in spite of, but because of the obstacles and injustices we face. Make the commitment. And just keep trying.

Jude Treder-Wolff is a trainer, writer,
and performer. Check out the
facebook page for her show CrAzYToWn

Complete Review of Jericho in the Sunday Oct. 23 New York Times

Read more about Jericho and Jack Canfora's play Poetic License which will be produced Off-Broadway in 2012.

The Arts and Health: Connecting The Dots, Evidence-Based

2011-10-10T14:18:00.000-07:00

Storytelling is emerging as a powerful tool for health promotion in vulnerable populations. Until now, these interventions were largely untested in rigorous studies. A study published in The Annals of Internal Medicine (Jan 2011) found that a storytelling intervention produced "substantial and significant improvements in blood pressure for patients with baseline uncontrolled hypertension." more

This academic article "Tell Me A Story: A Conceptual Exploration of Storytelling In Health Care Education" from Nursing Education Today explores the principles of storytelling and the role of storytelling in healthcare delivery, This nursing educator identifies some of the skills learned and benefits derived from storytelling, and speculates upon the use of storytelling strategies in nurse education. "Such stories have, until recently been harvested from the experiences of students and of educators," she writes, "however, there is a growing realization that patients and service users are a rich source of healthcare-related stories that can affect, change and benefit clinical practice. more

This article "Effects of a creative expression intervention on emotions, communication, and quality of life in persons with dementia" published in the journal Nursing Research reports the results of research that examined the effects of a storytelling program called TimeSlips on the neuropsychiatric symptoms and emotional well-being of patients with dementia. The study found a sustained and significant increase in positive affect, communication skills and interpersonal interactions through participation in this program.

THE BENEFITS OF ARTS AND CREATIVITY TRAINING:

2011-10-10T13:46:00.000-07:00

October is Arts & Humanities Month - take a creative risk!

A growing number of studies demonstrate that creativity training, or development in a creative domain, integrates the brain, body and emotions in a symphony of heightened functioning. A study published by Columbia University’s Center for Arts in Education Research reports that teachers in schools providing high-arts “spoke of the effects of arts learning along five specific dimensions of ability. These were the ability to:

Express ideas and feelings openly and thoughtfully;
Form relationships among different items of experience and layer them in thinking through an idea or problem;
Conceive or imagine different vantage points of an idea or problem and to work towards a resolution;
Construct and organize thoughts and ideas into meaningful units or wholes; and
Focus perception on an item or items of experience, and sustain this focus over a period of time.Dr. Elliott Eisner, author of writes that working out the issues we face when training in an art form prepares us for the uncertainties and ambiguities of life, and perhaps most importantly, teaches through lived experience that “small differences can have large effects.” Creative experiences and arts education train the mind and personality to persist in a visionary process toward an unknowable outcome, as we deal with situations that have no single correct solution and call for a range of perspectives to find a way through.

Attend a concert. See a stage play. Go to an art show. Go out dancing. Try improvisation. It takes courage to create.

The Gods Must Be (Going) Crazy: When Worldviews Collide

2011-10-07T13:17:00.000-07:00

Jude Treder-Wolff

In the 1980 independent film The Gods Must Be Crazy, a Coke bottle falls from a small plane passing overhead and into the path of a Bushman in the Kalahari Desert. He and his villagers view the plane as a god, so they see the bottle as a fascinating and curious gift the gods saw fit to bestow. They invent all sorts of interesting uses for it, which unfortunately includes bonking on heads, something hard objects tend to inspire in human beings. When they start to fight over it, the bottle comes to be regarded as an “evil thing.” They figure the gods had to be crazy to send this into their lives, and elect Xi, the Bushman who brought it into the village, to find the place where the gods reside and return it. On his expedition he encounters white people, technology, and violence for the first time, including a culture clash that lands him in jail for months. He does succeed in the end, tossing the bottle off a mountaintop that could easily be viewed as a home for the gods, and then resumes his former life just as before, his worldview seemingly unchanged.

     To a Bushman an "expedition" is a journey. To a Long Island soccer mom an Expedition is a suburban utility vehicle. Our worldview is shaped by our world, or so it seems until some disorienting event or inspiring person or out-of-nowhere new information shakes everything up. Then we have the option of holding onto a view that does not square with reality - e.g. all the kids have grown and gone but we continue to parent them, which is a prescription for some tough moments on holidays - or of accepting that things have changed and letting go of something, which is a prescription for at least short-term pain and emptiness. What helps is to think of one's worldview as a foundation for experience that is subject to change, rather than a fixed frame that defines experience in fixed ways. What helps is to see ourselves as creators.
     The capacity to create is a gift from the gods that we have all been given, whether or not we claim it for ourselves. Creativity will break through any crack in our consciousness, but for the most part we throw it back at the point it starts to shake us up. All of humanity is awash in a sea of possibilities, but like the Bushmen we can only grasp what fits within our worldview. It must drive God crazy that we repress, deny, and isolate the rich resources of creative energy, the fuel for innovation, originality, discovery, and meaning that lie within us. God must really be going off the beam over this because creativity is the greatest human ability of all. It is the power to make language and culture and space stations and contact lenses that can stay in your eyes for a month and nonstop flights from Los Angeles to Tokyo and computer chips that know when we have had too much to drink. Creativity was the force that moved some ancient man to roast the day’s kill after the discovery of fire, and later on to add oregano and a little olive oil. And it is creativity that keeps us from destroying one another no matter how hard we try, and God knows we do try, and is the energy behind the systems and organizations designed to help us live together.
     Anything we want to change about our lives can be viewed as a creative activity. Through creative expansion, we grow the capacity to question constricted ways of thinking and programmed beliefs. The creator can work from a strong set of values and ideals knowing that things may be not as we think or turn out as we would like. If we allow life to change us, the suffering of life has meaning. When we come out of a life-changing experience exactly the same as we were going in, the gods go a little crazy.

Role-Reversal: Seeing Situations With A New "I"

2011-10-03T15:25:00.000-07:00

Nicholas Wolff, LCSW, BCD, TEP
offers a weekly training group in experiential/
action methods Sept-June.

Bill (not his real name) – a 19-year-old man in an experiential group at a retreat for children of alcoholics - stepped up, reluctantly and therefore courageously, when I requested volunteers for an exercise that involved role-reversal. A technique that is central to the psychodramatic method, role-reversal shifts our frame of reference about a situation, memory or person. A person stuck in a conflict with an unbending boss, for example, will assume the role of this boss, and with the support of the director and the other group members explore the tension from the perspective of "the other." If we have generated sufficient psychological safety in the group, the process of role-reversal will reveal underlying beliefs and memories that connect to the present situation. It is ultimately a way to rewrite the story in a fresh, more empowered way.
In a walk-and-talk interview "Bill" freely shared two things: 1) he attended this retreat only because of a bargain with his mother in which she agreed to pay his tuition every semester that he participated in some mental-health-related activity; 2) he had no faith whatsoever in the effectiveness of mental-health-related activities. Fair enough. The therapy-is-useless frame of reference is not only common, it is often justified, especially with children raised in alcoholic homes where kids can be tossed into treatment for acting out while all the adults involved dance around the actual causes if the family dysfunction. But his anger with the social workers and counselors he was forced to see as a teen because of a fight in which he broke his hand on another kids’ face was tinged with understanding. He knew they meant well. He recognized their empathy. But he saw nothing change as a result. At least that was the story he was ready to share with us at the time.
     His genuine anger was focused on the boy whose jaw he broke - a boy who had antagonized and bullied Bill since grade school. “When I was told to reverse roles with this guy I was so angry,” he wrote in a post-session evaluation. “I didn’t want to pretend to be him or crawl into his skin on any level. But I tried.”
     It may sound counter-intuitive for a victim to “become” the abuser, especially when the victim has suffered some unfortunate consequences for standing up to the perpetrator. But the beauty of role-reversal is its power to move between two – or more – frames of reference easily, allowing an almost rhythmic back-and-forth between a grounded, familiar position and that of the other characters in the drama. The perspectives of different players can begin to clarify the source of those internalized “voices” that re-energize negative self-talk. Bill shared the following in his discussion of the work:
     “I took the role and some other guy took the role of me, and when I started to call him names and make fun of him, the guy in my role just stood there looking scared like I used to and I hated him, me, for that. I really hated myself for being weak and letting this guy mess with me day after day. The things that jerk says to me are the same as what I say to myself every day of my life. And the things he did to me play over and over in my head because I keep saying these things inside my head. I don’t want him controlling me anymore.”
     The creative interaction pulled Bill's self-hating interior dialogue apart in an interesting and pressure-free way. He was still free to view psychotherapy as useless. He was also free to make some cognitive connections which reframed the way he thought about and talked to himself. He "got" that the way he beat himself up mirrored the person he hated the most and caused him to avoid relationships. The experience of role-taking brought about a visible shift in his thinking and an observable reduction in his anxiety, a shift that talking about the problems might have taken much more time to accomplish. It was a beginning, and a good one, of Bill’s co-creation of supportive relationships that form the foundation of successful emotional recovery and the fuel for creating his life.

Detachment: A Small Change That Makes Large Differences

2011-09-29T16:38:00.000-07:00

                "Reality is that which, when we stop believing in it, doesn't go away."
                                                     Phillip K. Dick
     My husband talks to the television. He goes point-for-point with the pundits. He roots for the good guys with gusto and rails at injustice with rowdy, heart-felt outrage. It sounds a little psychotic, to be honest, but it is just an expression of his full, unself-conscious engagement with whatever has his attention at any given moment. It would be crazy if he believed his noisy protests had some influence on the story playing out on the screen, which he does not. And it would also be crazy if I believed I could – or should – oppress, restrict or in any other way attempt to control his television-watching behavior, which I did, for awhile, out of an irrational and unfounded fear about what the neighbors might think. Two things changed that: I got over myself and we got central air conditioning (windows stay closed, problem solved, if this can actually be considered a problem).

     I share this story with participants at a training seminar for staff of an important cultural institution in New York City, as we discuss their difficulty coping with the heightened negativity and blame heaped upon them by confused and upset patrons. System-wide, very disruptive changes in the organization afflict both staff and public, but it is staff who are targeted with patrons' unfair criticism and resentments while making do with fewer resources. I share the story about my husband and link it to a larger narrative – one that describes the situation and attempts to open up new thinking about what it means:
     “These people project their frustration on you because they have attached it to you. They point and yell as if you have injured them in a very personal way but any reality check shows that your role is professional, not personal on any level. They yell at you the way my husband yells at the television, which is a projection, an image, not really happening in our living room where he might actually have some control over events. They have projected their story onto you but unlike my husband, they are not aware that what they perceive is a projection.” The group is not exactly sold on this explanation, but we now have a different road to go down and they are receptive.
     The phenomenon of projection - our mental capacity to impose our story, emotions, expectations, and agendas on others the way a movie projector throws an image up on a blank screen - is an undeniable but poorly-understood human dynamic at the root of many emotional conflicts in every type of relationship. The fact that it is largely unconscious makes it an enormous source of stress. Clearing out our projections is the fast track to recognizing when someone else is projecting onto us - especially a stranger in a public place but this holds true equally as much in personal relationships. The most common signal of a mutually-communicated projection is a high emotional charge that seems out of proportion to the actual event or is not appropriate to the role, as in a professional situation. Just being aware of our own emotional temperature can lead us out of the hopeless, overwhelming tension of the projection-dominated interaction.
     Nearly every day, we all face the question of how much we will allow circumstances to determine our attitude and direct our attention. Unexpected traffic on the way to an important meeting. A frustratingly self-destructive loved one who rejects our well-intentioned – but unsolicited - advice. Economic unpredictability. Incompetence that costs us time and money. A sick child on a day full of appointments. “If the stress at work would just ease up, if people in our lives would simply take responsibility for their own problems so we could cease-and-desist in our rescue-and-repair efforts, if only the world would straighten itself out,” we rail against all those situations and people beyond our control. But the way out begins with one simple principle: take full responsibility for our own story, attitudes, emotions, agendas, disappointments and achievements. Take full responsibility for our own growth and especially for our own gifts. This one commitment, if carried out, is the single most important thing we can do for ourselves. Dealing with our own pain and realizing our own potential is a full-time job. From the psychological standpoint of healthy detachment from others' projections and from responsibility for their choices, daily situations that are beyond our control become avenues of understanding. Our attitudes toward ongoing hassles, disappointments, and challenges are creative choices.
    Projection is nearly impossible to avoid and part of so many interactions that learning about this phenomenon should be integrated into all workplace training. If we were issued a Manual for Healthy Relationships With Fellow Humans, this would be included as an Central Operating Principle. Understanding what triggers our defensive reactions can prevent useless conflict in the short term, and in the long-term the challenge is to replace the deeply-ingrained negative images of ourselves we carry around from past experiences. The effect of shifting our attention inward to get ahead of all the unconscious projections we have absorbed and those we put out onto the world is a subtle but powerful heightening of creative energy that is then available for developing our strengths, aspirations, and gifts.

Jude Treder-Wolff runs groups, training seminars and classes for personal and professional development.

CHANGE YOUR ROLES, CHANGE YOUR STORY

2011-09-19T16:10:00.000-07:00

Nicholas Wolff, LCSW, BCD, TEP
runs a weekly experiential/action methods
training group on Wednesdays 8-10 p.m.
in Smithtown, NY

Interpersonal skills are as important to success in life - especially in the networked world - as academics or technical competence. The greatest obstacles to forming creative responses to problems in relationships are often the familiar, embedded roles we play without conscious thought. The roles that feel comfortable and "normal" whether or not they are very effective are generally the ones we absorbed from someone else's story.
We get stuck in a script written for us by people who are long gone or one designed to please everyone but ourselves. We squeeze ourselves into the story we think society demands we tell, unable to see the misery that always bleeds through the toughest mask.

When we recognize the role we play in a story – both the socially-determined aspects and the internal roles that drive it – we have choices as to how to move through it. Everyone who has ever loved an active addict and learned the tough art of psychological detachment from the addict’s downward spiral knows that a shift in one person’s course changes the dynamics of a mutually-destructive relationship. A rescuer who changes their role to self-responsible creator of their own life challenges their dependents to do the same, although it can be a rough go at the start. The stay-at-home mother who goes back to school. The supervisor who finally stops enabling the entitled slackers in her department. The friend who at long last says “no” to unreciprocated calls for help, change their world by changing their roles. It is the greatest creative process we can undertake. Because changing our roles changes our story. And changing our story changes everything.

This life is our movie, and we are responsible for the story we tell. Clearly, many people have little or no access to high status roles, and no roadmap for a way in. Social inequities related to race, gender, sexual orientation, and class are undeniable, and these social forces can seem impervious to our influence. Things change but we may not live long enough to realize social change that we strive for. Still, we can contribute. We can create. We can participate in making the story something we feel passionately about. We can take a good, hard look at what controls us. Because the struggle for fulfillment never ends if we are trying to make our story come out right while acting in someone else’s movie.

Crazytown

2011-09-19T15:30:00.000-07:00

WAITING FOR GO

2011-09-19T15:18:00.000-07:00

by Jude Treder-Wolff, LCSW, RMT, CGP

Jude Treder-Wolff facilitates
Improvisation Workshops that jump-start
creativity on Mondays, 7-9 p.m. in
Smithtown, NY

Change is the natural process of life, and in nature it always starts small. A seed. An acorn. Kittens. In nature, the process continually transforms a tiny thing into whatever it is designed to be as long as there is energy available. Seeds into pumpkins. Acorns into oaks. Kittens into furry ambassadors of love. Energy is key, as it is in the intangible - but still completely natural - process that is psychological/emotional growth. As human beings we have the unique capacity to deny change at the same time it is happening and put off actionable change that nature or just good common sense indicates is necessary. We can stop dead as if at a red light, freezing in fear or denial, throwing up psychological roadblocks to the natural flow of creative energy that drives transformation. Stagnant energy turns into anxiety, which amplifies the scary voices in our head and can distort our perception so much that even small things seem unmanageable. So we wait.

We tend to think the creative, gutsy changes that will redirect our lives must wait for storms to pass, or for the sun to shine into our dark night of the soul, or for that magical day when we finally feel worthy or confident or, at long last, lucky. We wait to be rescued, or redeemed. It may seem that our circumstances are too difficult, life is too painful and stress-filled, or we are just too tired for the discipline required for self-awareness. The pressures to which we have become accustomed and expectations of others – both living and those long past caring - that we have allowed to shape our choices spike our sense that internal opposition to change is likely to exhaust and overwhelm us.
But all of human history says that the way to the happiness and freedom we seek lies not beyond our difficulties, but within them. Once we call upon the internal “enzyme” that drives change—our creative self—we are on a new path. Every creative choice, every step into uncertainty and not-knowing strengthens the psychological “muscle” to determine our own attitude and define the roles we choose to take in life. From that intangible strength within, we may discover novel approaches to the problems that face us. Ideas come in from nowhere, or anywhere, but they come and lead onto other ideas. A shift in consciousness will certainly bring about change within us, and there is always the potential, no matter how remote, that it can bring about a radical change in our circumstances.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT: Relationship 2nd Acts and Self-ReInvention

2011-09-12T12:54:00.000-07:00

by Jude Treder-Wolff
     Relationships are the architecture of our personal and professional lives, something especially important to keep in mind during times of rapid, roller-coaster-ride-type economic upheaval. Like right now and into the uncertain future. The gloomy Jobs Reports over the past year indicating economic stormy weather, the (literal) uptick in stormy weather happening all over the planet, the fact that technology is evolving at something like “10 million times the natural speed of evolution” according to economist Brian Arthur, pose unrelenting pressures and some overwhelming problems. But even – or maybe especially – during times of heightened tension and unpredictability - anything can happen with the right tools and mind set. And if the infrastructure of our lives is built of supportive, sheltering networks and robust relationships that are more supply than demand we may be able to improvise our way into a new self, new roles and an expanded creative identity.
     Improvisation is a key concept here, because it is all about taking and building on offers. Sometimes the offer comes in the form of a loss or anticipated circumstances that compel us to make a transformative change. Marian Rich -co-founder of the Castillo Theatre/Youth Onstage and a long-time builder of the All Stars Project, Inc on 42nd St. in NYC - who just this month launched herself into a new stage of post-corporate life, witnessed the enormous impact of individuals' choices in the work arena on the whole of their lives in her 15 years Executive Search Consultant. “When people take a new position and uproot their families they are changing their lives. That's a responsibility I took very seriously.”
     An improvisation teacher and performer, Marian is in full-throttle engagement with improv principles now. As she reinvents herself for the 2nd act of her evolving life she finds the process turning on the strength of her social infrastructure. “So much of what I did over a long career in executive search is build relationships,” she states. “When I decided I was ready to make a change I reached out to a colleague of mine, a consultant in the world of innovation, who encouraged me to focus on my extensive background in improvisation and theater going forward. He had some really interesting thoughts on companies that might look at someone with my skills and experience and coached me on what I'd need to do - create a new resume and narrative profile - to get in front of the company he had in mind. I eventually had an amazing interview at one of the leading innovation consultancies in New York.” That interview has not yet resulted in a job offer, although the process of building her relationship with the company is in play - but in a different kind of offer. In improvisation, the "offer" is simply what we are given: a suggestion, a rule, a partner's unexpected choice.
      Offers are to the improviser what a color palette is to a painter. The subjects of a cover story ("Pulling Off The Ultimate Career MakeOver") in the July 11 Fortune magazine found themselves with “offers” they never saw coming, e.g. their business model on the fast track to obsolescence (Blockbuster Video, if anyone can remember that far back), or an industry shake-up that eliminated entire companies. "If this self-reinvention process was an improv game," says Marian, "I would call it ‘If You Could Be Anybody Who Would You Be’ and here are the rules: we get a suggestion of a profession from the audience - two people start a scene inspired by the suggestion, focusing on relationship. At any point the actors can say "freeze" and ask for a new suggestion for a new profession.”
      Learning to accept and work with offers through improvisation is an ideal training ground for navigation of unanticipated twists of fate and events beyond our control, and in this learning relationships are the tools as well as, in many ways, the product of our choices. Because onstage or in life, we sustan an improvisation by relating openly and continuously to everyone involved - (scene) partners, audience, or work group.
    All the raw potential of pioneering our place in the order of things can be, however, as scary as it is exciting. When Marian’s fear developed into a paralyzing panic, her infrastructure was in place to help hold things together. “In those moments asking for help is so critical,” she says. “I have a friend who told me that he wakes up with massive anxiety every morning and he has learned to embrace that as part of his life, to ask for help, and to keep going.”

SHIFTS HAPPEN: Creative Thinking For Stress-Resilience & Burn-Out Prevention Presentation

2011-09-11T18:34:00.000-07:00

Assocation for Medical Education & Research in Substance Abuse Annual Conference
Sheraton Crystal City, Arlington, VA November 3-5, 2011

Presenters: Jude Treder-Wolff, LCSW, RMT, CGP & Nicholas Wolff, LCSW, BCD, TEP
This workshop will integrate evidence-based information about the biochemical and physiological effects of psychological stress with techniques for enhancing personal stress-resiliency. We will employ creative experiences and thinking tools that cultivate the cognitive shifts and skills that have been found to be helpful to health care professionals in sustaining a high level of commitment and performance as well as reduce or reverse symptoms of burn-out.

Click here for a Power Point presentation about the principles of Stress-Resilience in the prevention of role fatigue and burn-out at Lifestage.org

Improvisation Group: Improv for Stress-Resilience, Self-Awareness and Creative Thinking

2011-09-06T09:12:00.000-07:00

WHEN: MONDAYS, BI-WEEKLY, 7-9 P.M. Sept. 12; Sept. 26, Oct. 10, Oct. 24, Nov. 7
WHERE: LIFESTAGE, INC, 496 Smithtown Bypass Suite 202 Smithtown NY 11787
Fee: $20/session - Payable onsite before each session or online at smarttix

"If the future is uncertain, best learn how to improvise. Find out how by looking at how actors and jazz musicians do it." Mary Crossan, Organizational Dynamics

The improviser’s mind and skill set is something anyone can learn, practice and use to be more effective, adaptive, and creative in response to problems, and it is the best antidote to professional burn-out. Research shows that improvisation in theater or music grow the psychological “muscles” that improve our resilience to the stresses of modern life, and are a training ground for dealing with uncertainty and the tensions of change that are all around us these days.

We can’t control the economy, the jobs report, what’s happening in the news, or loads of other distressing things that impact us every day. We have responsibilities and worries and pressures that are not going away. Today’s stresses come in from every direction, but are just as often mental habits such as performance anxiety, fears about money and security, worries about how we are doing as a parent or partner, or any number of emotional triggers that signal a sense of threat. What goes on in our head evokes the same physiological response as what happens when running from a moving train. And when these threats do not abate—after all, the call is coming from inside the house— we lose the energy we need to cope - much less create - and over time get burned out.
In these workshops we will:

• Learn how to reduce stress and expand choices through cognitive reframing;

• Develop the ability to size up situations rapidly and respond effectively;

• Understand the principles of the improviser's mind set;

• Co-create stories and scenes with other people and examine the ways that real-time creative experience changes perceptions and builds confidence;

These methods can revolutionize learning in a therapy group or classroom. They bring information to life and immediately connect it to experience. And experience makes learning stick.
Attend as many workshops as you like. But repeated experiences produce deeper, faster results so we encourage you to attend as many as you can.

Call Jude Treder-Wolff at 631-366-4265 for more information. Register online at
smarttix

Five Questions To Ask When Designing a Group Warm-Up

2011-08-27T15:39:00.000-07:00

by Nicholas Wolff, LCSW, BCD, TEP

     Most professional trainers who speak at a variety of groups and events have at least a few stories of epic fails, when the presentation just does not work. When the group does not like or connect with us or our methods. We will all face this humiliation at some point. And when we do, we will flail, we will flounder for the duration, and then flee. And we will collect our fee.
     As tough as these failures tend to be, they are great for taking stock of our skills and finding the weak links in our preparation. One of the most common reasons for the fatal disconnect between presenter and group is an inadequate or inappropriate warm-up. Like the time I was asked to speak for a professional singles’ group monthly brunch – when I asked them to stand up and form a half-cirlcle they got up and formed a line to get bagels and lox. I had an arsenal of experiential exercises at the ready and none of them landed on this group.
Question #1 to ask when desgining a warm-up: What does the group want?
     Had I researched the gig a little better I would have learned that previous speakers included a tax specialist, a makeover consultant, and a professional organizer. This group wanted to nosh and listen to an expert, emphasis on listen. I could have prepared a snappy introductory talk about what 25 years as a couples therapist has taught me about relationships. Had I met the group where they were, they might have followed me into a little interaction. Which brings me to
Question #2: What does the group expect?
     Whether going in to to work with the staff of a company or agency or running a group or seminar in which no one is likely to know anyone else, information-gathering is key to the design of anything we ask of the participants. As the trainer called in to help deal with workplace issues, we need to know as much as possible about the way the training event has been described to the workers and the terms of their participation, e.g. is it the workers’ choice to be there? Asking a mandated group of professionals “what drew you to this training today?” is the first step onto an elevator that is going down. We need to learn as much as possible about the group’s warm-up before arriving in the room.
Question #3; What is the low-hanging fruit?
     The low-hanging fruit is the most readily accessible hook into the group’s needs. In a workshop filled with participants who are not likely to know one another the low-hanging fruit might be simple, creative improvisation games that start with sharing basic information (name, how did they learn about this workshop) and gradually deepen the interactions. A quick read of the situation I encountered at the singles’ brunch revealed that bagels and coffee were something the group was willing to talk about. Types of bagels turned into a metaphor for personality types, flavors of coffee a metaphor for ways to enhance one’s best qualities.
Question #4: Where is the group’s attention?
     In many group situations, the default focus of attention is self-protection. A well-structured warm-up is like the jetway leading from an airport onto an airplane – to be safe and effective it has to link up properly with where the group starts and lead them to make the connections that meet your objectives – which means we can make the group aware of their attention to self-protection while expanding their choices for achieving it. A workplace group, for example, may be focused on looking good in front of peers and supervisors, in which case a warm-up should be structured to allow participants to respond without risking more exposure than they are ready for and at the same time highlight the concerns that are common to everyone in the group.
Question #5: Where do you want to direct their attention?
Sticking with the jetway image, the warm-up gradually redirects the group’s attention from where everybody starts and supports them in a transition to greater possibility. A spectrogram can ease a group into communicating about anything from their favorite color to their political views, while the wording, pacing and context of the questions serve to focus the group’s attention to a process or dynamic.

In a way we are continually warming up to new, expanded ideas and better ways to do something. And for that, failure is the best teacher, because it makes no judgments.

Nicholas Wolff facilitates a weekly training group in action/experiential methods for psychotherapists, addiction counselors and other mental health professionals at Lifestage in Smithtown, NY. The Fall 2011 group series begins Wednesday Sept. 28, 2011 at 8 p.m. For more information or to set up an interview as a prerequisite to joining the group contact Nick Wolff at 631-366-4265 or lifestage_2000@yahoo.com Read more about the group at www.lifestage.org

FOURTEEN PIANOS: A Blueprint for Hope in the HeART of Trenton

2011-08-22T18:11:00.000-07:00

by Jude Treder-Wolff

In 2005, when Trenton NJ natives Jacquie and Sterick Ivey bought the Trenton Conservatory of Music – founded by Juilliard piano professor William O’Toole in 1920– there were 14 pianos still inside, along with original manuscripts of instructions books on piano technique,sheet music in abundance, and evidence the place was designed with the needs of musicians in mind. “Professor O’Toole believed that Trenton needed and deserved a music conservatory” Jacquie explained in an interview for this article, “and I took piano lessons here as a child.” When Sterick, who works in real estate, saw that the property was for sale the couple – parents of 2 girls, Makenzie age 7, and Peyton age 4 - made a commitment to bring back and expand upon O’Toole’s vision.

“The Trenton High School band used to be nationally competitive and now it is just hanging on” Jacquie states. “Having taken lessons here and knowing the value of the arts to kids’ lives and to the community, I wanted to get those instruments into kids’ hands. I wanted to rebuild that High School band.” But that’s not all they have in mind. Not even close.

Sterick & Jacquie Ivey

“Within a 7.5 mile radius of the city, the entire world is represented in the population, but it is fragmented” the couple explain. “There are few opportunities for people to interact outside of their familiar group. We want to create a way for people to experience the foods, music, art and history of cultures different from their own, right here in Trenton. If people can’t travel and see the world,”Jacquie says with a smile, “we will bring the world to them.”

This is cutting edge thinking. Multi-cultural community centers are among the most highly recommended ways to create health and vitality in cities. Charles Landry, author of The Creative City: A Tool KitFor Urban Innovation and a world leader in designing cities that can survive and thrive in the 21^st century, devised the Creative City Index which identifies diversity and expression, openness, trust, tolerance, accessibility – qualities that are natural by-products of the kinds of activities and events taking place at the Conservatory – as among the key indicators that a city will be resilient in difficult circumstances and creative in response to its problems. Research also shows a direct link between involvement in the arts and improved health and social life by:

Reducing isolation and helping people to make friends
Strengthening community networks and sociability
Increasing tolerance for differences, which contributes to conflict resolution
Expanding forums for intercultural understanding and friendship

Validating the contribution of a whole community

Increasing intercultural contact and co-operation

Enhancing positive contact between the generations

“We are right in the center of Trenton, walking distance from the train station,” Sterick says, emphasizing their location makes the Conservatory extraordinarily accessible for the greatest number of people. And since their grand opening earlier this year, some very interesting people have walked through those doors and become part of their evolving network of artists, teachers, and volunteers from a wide range of backgrounds. Jacquie gave up her position as a Pre-School Director to “step out in faith” and take on this project, her leadership here rooted in the values, skills, experiences that resulted in her successful development of a large, culturally-rich, diverse staff. “We constantly meet such interesting, accomplished people who want to train others in an art form, teach their craft, give their gifts through performance, and we want to provide a nice, affordable venue for all these people to share their skills and abilities.”

The original blueprints for the Conservatory were left inside the building along with those 14 pianos. If there is a blueprint for hope, the Iveys have that one, too.

Jude Treder-Wolff, LCSW, RMT, CGP will perform her one-woman show CRAZYTOWN at The Conservatory NJ on Saturday September 24, 2011, 8 p.m. Contact Jacquie Ivey for ticket information: 609-858-2279

When Net Worth Is a Network: 5 Creative Thinking Tools That Energize Relationships

2011-08-08T12:06:00.000-07:00

In the networked world, relationships in our personal, business and community life are increasingly viewed as a form of wealth. With large-scale economic uncertainty threatening our sense of financial security, we are going to find that the intangible resources among friends, colleagues and members of social networks are important resources for creating work opportunities as well as emotional and psychological well-being. Here are five techniques that fuel positive energy in relationships:
Act as if. Relationships are fantastic vehicles for taking stock of what we have going for us and what we need to change. Creating sustainable change is often a difficult struggle to redirect deeply ingrained habits of mind but there are some reliable techniques that enhance these internal shifts. New ways of acting follow new ways of thinking, and we can energize the psychological “muscle” that makes us more adaptive, flexible and open to change by “acting as if” we are in a new and different role. Talkative and outgoing in a group situation? Practice the role of quiet listener or appreciative audience. If the kids' fighting triggers a desire to referee or add to the tension with more yelling, approach it from an unusual angle, e.g., it through the lense of a sportscaster observing and reporting on the action of two opposing teams. Simply choosing to change things up taps into the creative resources we need to put change into action.

Feel the love. Creativity - and its energizing effect on our openness to others' points of view, new experiences and novel solutions to problems - is positively associated with joy and love and negatively associated with anger, fear, and anxiety. A 2006 study published by Proceedings of the National Academy of Science showed that positive emotions literally expand our field of attention so that we perceive a greater range of choices and are less inhibited about trying them out, part of a growing body of knowledge about the ways that positive emotions promote a creative perspective on the problems of life.
Go Within.The practice that many artists engage with to focus inwardly and find their authentic voice to channel into their work is one that can benefit all of us and foster richness of communication in relationships. Maintaining radio silence with the world around us for a period of time makes us more attuned to our inner life and more aware of emotions. Greater self-knowledge and access to feelings makes us more available and expressive to partners, friends and family. Our field of awareness - generally crowded with the pressures and stresses of getting things done - needs a chance to disconnect from incoming messages and pressures so that the less structured, seemingly random inspirations and intuitions can bubble up. A busy schedule may take precedence over carving out a piece of quiet, but even a drive to pick up the kids at soccer can be an opportunity if we turn off the radio, breathe slowly at the red lights, and listen. No texts, no twitters, no exceptions.
Grow With The Flow. A recent study conducted at Stony Brook University’s Interpersonal Relationships Laboratory shows that long-term happiness in marriage is directly linked to the personal expansion fostered by the relationship. The research shows that the more self-expansion people experience from their partner, the more committed and satisfied they are in the relationship, an effect that happens “through their partners in big and small ways,” according to the New York Times’ interview with the investigators. “It happens when they introduce new friends, or casually talk about a new restaurant or a fascinating story in the news.” In a similar way, if a closer friend or business partner challenges us to new experiences or to be a better person in some way and we rise to that challenge, the relationship grows as much as we do. Win-win.
Do the opposite. When Seinfeld's iconic loser George Costanza attributes his misery to a lifetime to following his (misguided) instincts and decides to do the opposite of his own best judgment, he meets previously unattainable women and lands a job with the New York Yankees. While we may not realize sitcom-perfect reversals of fortune through use of this technique, we will be gaining a psychological strength that increases our ability to size up unfamiliar situations quickly and respond effectively. When we choose to approach a situation from a completely different direction than what is ingrained and habitual we experience a degree of uncertainty that triggers the right-brain to search for a new and previously untried response.
Jude Treder-Wolff, LCSW, RMT, CGP is the Long Island Interpersonal Relationships writer for Examiner.com. She conducts Improv Yourself: Improvisation for Self-Awareness, Stress-Resilience and Creative Thinking workshops at Lifestage on Mondays at 7 p.m. She designs and facilitates workshops and seminars for organizations, agencies and conferences on a variety of themes. Contact: 631-366-4265 or lifestage_2000@yahoo.com

The Way Of The Super-Hero

2011-07-17T12:18:00.000-07:00

by Nicholas Wolff, LCSW, BCD, TEP

A man needs a dream, and in my view aspiring to be a super-hero makes me a better person, husband, friend and therapist. Not that I imagine I am a super-hero, just what I would love about being one. To start, there's the equipment. Take Batman: the car, the cave, the tools for urban combat. And the powers. I have a rather loose filing system for records and documents, and Superman's speed and strength would help out when I cannot locate something I need.
Some thoughts about the way of the super-hero for ordinary suburban men, like myself, who share my quest:
Maintaining The Fleet. Like Batman, I’m a guy who places a high value on readiness for any emergency. And I feel like Batman, those rare times my wife is stuck with a dead car on the expressway in driving rain and I know the vehicle is stocked with: cell phone charger, flashlight, extra batteries for the flashlight, battery charger, maps, Windex (with toweling) blankets, a flare and a shovel. If she is packing bottled water and a protein bar I know that she is not only as safe as possible during the time it takes for me to get there, she can nap, surf the internet on her smartphone and enjoy a light snack. The vehicles you drive carry the most important people in your life. The summer months are best for bonding with your vehicle. You want their shining surfaces to be blinding. You want them them to run smooth and sleek on all those trips to Home Depot. On long road trips, especially in heavy traffic, fluids are indispensable. Be good to the fleet and the fleet will not get overheated and throw a hose.
Maintaining The Yard. As a couples therapist on Long Island I can honestly say that lawn care is right up there with child-rearing practices and finances as a source of conflict. One person wants a manicured lawn using the latest lawn technology, the other wants to sleep in on Saturdays. I have long been a lawn pacifist. Never will I raise a rake in anger over care of the grass. Nor will I compete with my neighbors. Its just a patch of green. Still, I have standards. Water, cut, feed, sprinkle seeds. No chemicals.
Presiding Over The Grill. To do the job right, you need tools. These should be large, manly, very clean. If you need a grilling hat make sure it is a good fit. No logos, no obstructions. Aprons are for suckers. Get barbecue sauce on yourself, its character-building. Check your gas. Smooth out the lava rocks, turn on the juice and let the heat rise under the grill cover. Relax and meditate on what a fine contribution you make to happy family life by helping out with the meal. Sit back in a lawn chair until it is time to put on the food. Turn regularly. Move the food around, too so it cooks evenly. Super-hero status increases in direct proportion to the speed with which you scrub the grill after it cools down and the scent of Lemon joy on your hands and shirt.
Checking For Suspicious Noises. Batman goes into dark places with his courage, physical conditioning and a millionaire's arsenal of tools. Being a middle-class psychotherapist, my arsenal consists of a tennis racket, cell phone speed-dialed to 911 and pure determination to get a good night's sleep.
Every day is an opportunity to practice super-hero skills and self-sacrifice. There's always something to contribute. The world needs us. And you get to keep the equipment.

Nicholas Wolff, LCSW, BCD, TEP facilitates a professional training program in experiential/action methods at Lifestage, including a weekly group that meets from September to June that is approved for Continuing Education by the New York State Office of Alcohol and Substance Abuse Services.

Creating a Bigger Life: Four Leaps

2011-07-17T11:10:00.000-07:00

by Jude Treder-Wolff, LCSW,RMT,CGP

Leap 1. Get Discontented
             or The Disorienting Event

     Suppose you returned to work after a vacation and found that the project to which you had been assigned for over a year no longer existed. Nor did your team. And on the table where, just weeks before, there were project files there were now severance packages. This happened to Brian B., Phd, a physicist for 25 years at an international tech firm that downsized dramatically in 2009. In the questionnaire participants completed as part of an Improv Yourself: Navigating Transitions seminar at Lifestage, he described the disorientation and anxiety of having to re-invent himself at this point in his life. “At 57 years old and with 2 kids in college, I am now a free-lancer,” he said, “and not by choice.”
     Marion Rich – Executive Search consultant, improviser, actress and trainer – allowed her discontent to take her down some untried paths.“Its so easy to stay in a job that you know, even if you are unhappy, which I was," she shares, "I am a developmentalist, so reinventing myself was ultimately the only choice I could make." After 15 years at a firm that she helped develop and despite the challenges of starting over in her fifties, she officially became a free-lancer on June 30. Extensive experience in improvisation and theater – she performs with The Proverbial Loons improv troupe regularly, is co-founder of the Castillo Theatre/Youth Onstage and a long-time builder of the All Stars Project, which offers a free theatre conservatory for teens from the poorest communities in New York City – give her a psychological foundation for saying “yes” to and building on new offers, on stage and in life. “I was able to play with my fear, play with my age, play with the concept of having a bigger life, a more joyous life,” she reports.
Leap 2. Complete the past
     “The end is where we start from,” wrotes T.S. Eliot, and it is true that working through the circumstances of an ending is perhaps the most powerful determining influence on a new beginning. Research bears this out. A Health and Retirement Study published in 2009 exploring the forces that shape changes in happiness found that what matters is not the type of transition (gradual retirement or cold turkey) but whether people perceive the transition as chosen or forced.
     Marian’s leave-taking was the completion of a role fulfilled by actually training her own replacement. “It took 6 months for my boss to find the right person and I was involved with every step of the process,” she reports. “It was an unusual and at times emotionally demanding assignment after such a long tenure. But I wanted to give back, as in many ways my boss mentored me, taught me the business and helped me develop as a business woman.”
     As difficult as it is to participate fully and consciously in tying off the threads of a role, doing so frees up much-needed creative energy. Brian’s transition was extremely fraught because there was no opportunity to complete the story with the company or people involved. “For most of the 25 years I was at the company there were parties and a big send-off when someone retired or left,” he reports. “But I left after my entire department had been dismantled in a 60-day period and I had been leap-frogging from project to project trying to stay with the company. No one noticed when it was my last day, because things were so disconnected. The actual ending was a nonevent, but it took me more than a year to come to terms with what happened. I’ve learned from this how to create my own support system that doesn’t rely on contracts or organizational structures to be sustained.”
Leap 3. Feel Afraid
     At various points along the way the momentum of a great beginning will trigger waves of resistance as long-established ways of thinking, roles and scripts rise up to take a look at what just rocked our world. Surrender of the old is scary. Similar to the artist who faces a blank page or empty canvas, the change process requires that we endure the sometimes nail-biting tension of “not-knowing,” let go of the need for reassurance that things will turn out all right and just commit to the work in front of us.
     “Some days the fear would develop into a paralyzing panic, and social support in those times is critical” says Marian. “A friend told me that he wakes up with massive anxiety every morning and has learned to embrace that as part of his life, to ask for help, and to keep going.”
    Brian – who is developing a customized tutoring service that integrates his education and experience with a long—standing desire to teach – felt like he was “performing a violin recital while learning to play the violin” for over a year after he left the company. “I worked in a large, highly-structured system with fairly rigid rules,” he explains, “and the loss of status turned out to be more frightening than the loss of security. I've had to think on my feet and redefine what it means to be secure while scrambling to support my family. But with lots of self-examination and support I am surprised to find myself enjoying the freedom of trying creative ways to network and get new business. Whatever happens with this new venture I have more ‘muscle’ for managing the unknown than I did before this happened.”
Leap 4. Expand Into the Change
     To get a “bigger” life we exchange comfort and security for adventure and experience, surrender the templates of an existing identity for the opportunity to carve something original out of our life space. Brian shared that the improvisation experiences in our Improv Yourself workshops, taught him to “say ‘yes’ to things as they came up and stop worrying about feeling inadequate all the time. I would never have stepped out of the structured business world by choice, and now I can see that means I would have written a smaller part for myself in my life. I am developoing a new frame and a new template that really works for the life of a free-lancer, which I have learned could be anyone these days.”
     Marian emphasizes the importance of projecting the ‘big’ version of ourselves in order to take risks and stay strong. “We cannot be small in how we see ourselves and expect people to respond to us in a job interview. The greatest gift I discovered was that I have a big life, I have a rich network of people who are right there with me and didn't have to be "small" in how I went about this.”
    As the economy tightens and uncertainty becomes the new "set point" for normal in our social world, we can contract into fear and long for how things used to be. Or we can channel the fear into the natural-occurring tensions of creative expansion, invest in our own potential, and learn to swim in deeper waters. And that puts the "free" in free-lancer.

Jude Treder-Wolff, LCSW,RMT, CGP, whose book Possible Futures: Creative Thinking For The Speed of Life will soon be available on Kindle, has written numerous academic articles on creativity and the process of learning, healing and growth. She is a trainer, consultant, and performer who presents shows and workshops around the country.

GROUP TALK: Narratives, Networks and Neurobiology

2011-06-20T21:37:00.000-07:00

by Nicholas Wolff, LCSW, BCD, TEP

   Dr. Dan Siegel - Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at UCLA, author of Mindsight (among other books) and Director of the Mindsight Institute has given real legs and gravitas to the work of group psychotherapists with his research into Interpersonal Neurobiology and its applications to business, education and health. And science is the operative word. Before the advances in technology that gave us the capability to map changes in brain activity, those of us in the trenches doing therapeutic work could observe relief from suffering - and sometimes downright transformation - in our clients but could not definitively prove that what we do produces quantifiable, organic, sustainable change in a person's neurological functioning. Experiential therapists are specialists in the "how" of accelerating the development of social bonds while at the same time teaching skills that strengthen connections that produce enduring social networks, and researchers in neuroscience help us understand "why" this stuff we do is effective.
     Creative methods that rapidly integrate skill-building, cognitive shifts and deep social engagement - particularly all forms of storytelling in groups, improvisation, role-playing interactive theater, psychodrama or sociodrama - are even more important in our 21st century networks-are-everything-but-we-don't-have-much-time "new normal." Functional MRIs of brain structures and technology that monitors neural patterning now validates our methods as well as our results.
This graphic shows the "synching up" of brain activity between a storyteller and a listener. ("Study: The Brains of Storytellers and Their Listeners Actually Synch Up")

"Group psychotherapist’s knowledge of Interpersonal Neurobiology can help frame how integration—the linkage of differentiated parts into a coherent and adaptive whole—promotes health," writes Dr. Siegel in the International Journal of Group Psychotherapy ("Reflections On Mind, Brain and Relationships in Psychotherapy" 60 (4) 2010). "Actively engaging with others to seek and respect their communication of the inner world of the mind links members to one another through these reflective connections. Transformative experiences recruit the sharing of information and energy flow within relationships to actively move the synaptically stuck brain to fire off in new ways—ones that are now shaped toward integration."

     Groups can and should gain momentum as a therapeutic first choice as science continues to support the power of story and interpersonal experience to the healing and learning process. "We create our selves through narratives...with protagonists and antagonists and a prescribed relationship between narrators, characters and listeners," states neuroscientist Michael Gazzaniga in New Scientist ("When New Narratives Meet Old Brains.)"They have linear plots with a fixed past, a present built coherently on it, and a horizon of possibilities projected coherently into the future." We evolve our identity through engagement with other people, our choices and decisions like brushstrokes on a mural co-created with people who came before us and left some kind of legacy for us to deal with, people we see and know intimately and people with enormous influence whom we will never meet.
       Good groups are those in which we can tell the truth, not only our own but the truth about the group itself. We can talk openly about the defenses we all bring to the table but can rarely see in ourselves, and we can look at the dark side of human emotion. We are all blind to some things about ourselves and to some aspects of the bigger picture of our lives - that's just the reality of having a 3-dimensional human brain. But deep engagement with other people and their stories changes that 3-dimensional brain in useful and far-reaching ways. We can change our narratives through conscious listening and engaging with the stories of others. As Dr. Siegel said in his keynote speech at the Psychotherapy Networker Conference in 2010, "neurons that fire together, wire together."

Nick Wolff runs a weekly training group in experiential group methods at Lifestage, Inc, from September to June. He also designs and facilitates onsite professional development trainings. Contact him at lifestage_2000@yahoo.com or 631-366-4265. More information about his work is available at www.lifestage.org

AFTERGLOW

2011-06-20T13:39:00.000-07:00

by Jude Treder-Wolff, LCSW, RMT, CGP

Afterglow: “Light or radiance remaining after a light source has disappeared.”

“A pleasant effect or feeling that lingers after something is done, experienced or achieved.”

     When I heard that Clarence Jones - a psychologist, activist and respected colleague who for several years co-facilitated workshops with my husband that created a creative, safe space for people to think and talk about issues of race – had died, I knew one thing: that his funeral would feature great stories about a great true storyteller. His son Clancy - about whom his father beamed with pride when he made it to the NFL and played with the New Orleans Saints -  started his eulogy with some anecdotes about many pre-game consults with his father - a skilled strategist and athlete himself – and then dug into the brutal force of racism that shaped Clarence's early life.
     These stories, told in the context of events in our social history, were Clarence’s teaching tools in the racism workshops. He changed peoples’ thinking through stories about his personal and profound experiences with abuse for which he could find no justice, humiliation he could do nothing to avoid, and discrimination that denied him opportunities he earned and fully deserved, as a black man who came of age before the Civil Rights Act. Through interacting directly with people he shed light on a subject many people outright deny or awkwardly acknowledge but do not know how to talk about.
     In an interview with Clarence, as part of research I did while writing a play about HIV/AIDS in 1992, he told me about being a young, married, black father of 2 deciding whether or not to take a position he was offered on Long Island.
     “I drove up here from North Carolina where we lived at the time, checked into a motel, contacted real estate agents and went looking at houses. I ate in various restaurants in different towns. I needed to observe first-hand how I was treated by real estate agents, waiters, and policemen. I needed to know if this is a place I can bring my wife, whether she or my children would be unsafe or subjected to humiliation.”
     As a young white woman, these concerns were not even on my radar when I moved to a new location - much less suburban, non-threatening Long Island. Because Clarence used his gifts as a storyteller and good will as a human being to shine this light on a shadowy subject I - and thousands of other people who knew him - came to view our national conversation about race through a broader lens. The stories shifted our attention, enabling us to see that common, everyday threats to the psychological and physical well-being of black people are virtually invisible to many people because they are woven into the normal, day-to-day process of life for white society.
     Stories are the threads creating the fabric of our lives, and we continually complete and participate in a story larger than our own. Maria Macedonio-Ritter, Director of the Center For Visual Arts in Blue Point, NY was artist-in-residence at the East End Arts Council in Riverhead in early June and while there expressed something about this concept with an innovative installation titled “The Humble Quilt.” The quilt hung from the ceiling – no fabric, made of squares of dried paint stitched together in a seemingly-magical but a technically-challenging process – and beside it on either side a bright light framed by a multi-pointed star. Sitting in a chair placed in front of the quilt, we stared into the light for a brief time, then turned our gaze on the quilt. After a few seconds, the phenomenon of “afterglow” kicked in as our own visual cortex projected an image of that star onto the quilt canvas, a startling and paradigm-shifting experience. Each of us completed the piece through interacting with it. Physics did the rest.
    What we see is, in part, where we choose to look. The stories we tell are sometimes the quilt upon which something new and perhaps disturbing is projected, and sometimes the light, the way Clarence’s life and work continues in the afterglow.

STAND-UP FOR COMEDY: Best Date Night Ever

2011-06-20T13:15:00.000-07:00

For information about upcoming shows:
www.licomedy.com

by Jude Treder-Wolff, LCSW, RMT, CGP
     Romance and dating have been transformed by our brave, new technology-rich world, the wonders of which make it possible to meet, get to know, fall in love, shop for a ring and get some counseling without ever meeting in person. Lonely after a break-up? There is now help available 24/7, something unprecedented in human history. And until the credit cards are maxed out it feels like those people at Home Shopping really care about our problems. But love for actual, irreplaceable, humans will forever fill our hearts and empty our bank accounts. Care and feeding of relationships remains an important priority and this requires more face time and less facebook. We seek the bonding experience but in the Iphone Age we need it quickly. As it turns out, one of the most immediate and irresistible bonding experiences we can share is laughter, what comic and classical pianist Victor Borge called “the shortest distance between two people.”

     Comic Paul Anthony, host of the Long Island Comedy Festival, offers a “top five” out of many reasons comedy shows are perfect for dates at any point on the romance-o-meter:
1. Most comedy shows are about 90 minutes in length - perfect for allowing a couple time to have a drink or bite to eat before or after a performance. And if the date is not going well, 90 minutes is a minimal commitment.
2. Sharing of laughter is a great way to relax and get to know someone. A comedy show is an unscripted, spontaneous way to discover whether two people laugh at or "get" the same things.
3. A good sense of humor is still listed as a very desirable trait in a partner. What better way to test your new friend's sense of humor than at a great comedy show?
4. Comedy show audiences tend to be noisy, which allows for a great low-pressure atmosphere where you can speak freely without worrying that everyone is listening to your conversation.
5. Most comedy shows will feature a diverse line-up of comedians. It's a sure bet that the topic of relationships will be talked and joked about.
    The Long Island Comedy Festival has a full and expanding calendar of upcoming shows in a variety of venues in both Nassau and Suffolk Counties, featuring a roster of talent active in the New York comedy scene as well as national headliners.
     Local, live events like this that support the creative community are opportunities for real- (and quality)-time, pressure-free for couples that can be a source of privately-shared, special memories. Then you can both go home and post about it on facebook.

CRAZYTOWN video clip - more from Jan 15, 2011 show at Crowne Theater NYC

2011-05-30T11:11:00.001-07:00

CRAZYTOWN video clip January 15, 2011 The Crowne Theater, NYC

2011-05-30T11:09:00.001-07:00

Take Your Partner For A Ride: On Love, Relationships and Bicycles

2011-05-30T11:08:00.000-07:00

by Jude Treder-Wolff, LCSW, RMT, CGP

     A bike and its rider are a dynamic pair. A bicycle needs a rider if it has any hope of fulfilling its purpose, and a person with someplace to go or the need for speed and a face full of fresh air needs a bicycle. The bike’s moveable parts, when combined with a human being’s mental focus and physical balance, can propel both for quite a powerful - and often scenic - distance. Partnerships – especially between people making a life together in which every important choice one person makes has an effect on the others’ well-being – are a bit like bike and rider. Balance is key, focus required, shifting gears when necessary definitely recommended.

     May is National Bicycle Month - a perfect kick-off for the summer fun in the sun – an ideal time to reflect on the relationship-building character of a form of exercise that counts Albert Einstein – who said that he “came up with the idea” of the theory of relativity while riding his bike – Mark Twain and H.G. Wells among its many famous fans. For some couples, bike-riding has featured prominently in every stage of their relationship and continues to be a touchstone of their togetherness.
     “Biking brought Russ and I together,” states Hope, a 40-year-old mother of 2 living in Brookfield WI. “We were both signed up on eHarmony for almost a year before we were matched up and that was only after I added biking to my profile.” Russell, who has Type 1 diabetes, is an avid bicyclist who rides in the American Diabetes Association’s Tour de Cure - “a series of fundraising cycling events held in 43 states nationwide” that benefits important research efforts as well as entire community of people involved - every year since its inception. “A month into the relationship we went on a ten-mile bike ride together. From then until now, married and with two children, bike riding has become even more important for the relationship as it is a time that we set aside to purposefully spend time as a family. As the family grows and responsibilities become divergent, going on a bike ride is a way to spend time together and just have fun.”
     Melissa and John, an engaged couple who recently bought a house close to a bike path that goes on for miles along on the shores of Lake Michigan, can track a number of important relationship moments directly related to bicycling. They met Frasier’s Kelsey Grammar on a spontaneous bike-ride in Central Park last summer, and one of their early dates involved a treasure hunt around Madison, WI, a town unfamiliar to both of them. Each “treasure” was an obstacle course or puzzle where they “had to do some crazy stunt, like running around a circle carrying your partner on your back while knocking a croquet ball around the outside,” Melissa explains. “This adventurous spirit of taking a risk with someone has been a very strong bonding theme throughout our relationship. Riding our bikes throughout it all has been our metaphor.”
In addition to the many health benefits of bicycling, Hope appreciates that “it forces you to slow down the pace of life and enjoy life more. Instead of seeing scenery whiz by from a car, you get to enjoy the landscape in your own time and on your own power.” Melissa reflects on the parallels between relationships and riding bikes in rough weather or difficult circumstances. “Both facilitate a strong need for clear communication and team work,” she explains, e.g. "You bring the back pack, I'll bring the lock, I know how to change a flat, I have a credit card if we get really in a bind..." It is a connection in cooperation and team work. Knowing that the person in front of you will check back to make sure you're still there, or will make sure the intersection is clear before riding out, or that at least someone has a spare tire - all of this is part of riding bikes, and all this is part of building a relationship. Knowing that your partner has your back, trusting that they're looking out for you, is the foundation of building a strong relationship.”

     We can ride for a cause: Hope and Russ plan to participate in the 25K Tour de Cure this year without the children. Russ also participates in a two-day 150-mile bike ride from Milwaukee to Madison that benefits multiple sclerosis research. We can ride for health and happiness. Whatever the reason, bicycling is a physical expression of that which makes relationships both exciting and sustainable: balance, movement, connection and freedom. The road of life may be bumpy, rocky, smooth or shoot straight up an impossibly steep hill, and our partners on the great ride that is falling in love and creating a home can make all the difference to the quality of the journey.

This Is Your Brain On Storytelling

2011-04-20T17:35:00.000-07:00

by Jude Treder-Wolff, LCSW, RMT, CGP

   “Careful the things you say,” go the lyrics to one of my favorite Stephen Sondheim ballads, “children will listen.” And so they do. And by “they” I mean “we” because we were all children once and the stories we heard and saw in our developmental years can be annoyingly difficult to get out of our heads. It often baffles and bewilders my clients who, through the storytelling process of psychotherapy, begin to see how a parents’ story – even one that was carefully and consciously avoided – has become part of their own.

     Listening is the connective tissue in relationships, and as member of a profession that demands listening with a maximum of attention, it was with great interest that I read a research study showing that a listener's brain activity synchs up with the brain of the storyteller. The Proceedings of the National Academy of Psychological Sciences published a study that showed "coupling" in the brain waves of tellers and listeners, some visible evidence of the way our consciousness connects. And here's the kicker. This is an effect "that vanishes when participants fail to communicate."

      The stories we hear change our brains. The stories we tell change others' brains.  This is how psychotherapy heals. It is how relationships grow. Think of listening as the expression of connection with the important people in your life and you will participate in shifting the narrative. Think of how the stories we tell define us to the people who receive them, and their impact on how others feel and think. "Careful the tale you tell," the Sondheim song continues, "That is the spell, Children will listen."

Jude Treder-Wolff, LCSW, RMT,CGP is a trainer, writer and performer. Check out the facebook page for her new storytelling show CrAzYToWn

Crazy, Sexy Consumer Culture

2011-03-01T13:11:00.000-08:00

by Jude Treder-Wolff, LCSW, RMT, CGP

     In a famous Harvard University study published in the journal Perception volunteers were told to watch a thirty-second film of six people playing basketball, and count the number of passes made by one of the teams. Three people on each team wore matching T-shirts. In one version of the video, a woman holding an umbrella walks through the action taking place on the court. Another featured a woman in a gorilla suit.
     While tallying the number of passes recorded, observers were asked whether they noticed either anything unusual on the video or any people other than the six players. Forty-six percent simply did not notice the woman in the gorilla suit, even though in one version of the film she stopped in the middle of the court, faced the camera and thumped her chest. Out of those nonnoticers, eighty-eight “did not believe that the event had happened until the videotape was replayed for them.”[i]
     The counters who missed the gorilla were so intently focused on their task their minds simply screened out visual information not relevant to it. This study points up the fact that when we are told to give attention to a thing, we tend to miss or ignore other things that are also happening right before our eyes.
     As advertising and media penetrate into nearly every area of life, our attention is increasingly directed toward things we "need" to have a good-enough life. The emotional content alone can easily overwhelm own better judgment, as the distinction between what we know we want from within our own heart and soul and the marketers’ dream for us is increasingly blurred. Images and scenes that play to our fears and our need to shine or to find love or simply belong also trigger subconscious cues and motivations that have remarkable power over our behavior. Like people in love with the wrong person, we can fix the facts to fit the feelings. New information that interferes with the narrative to which we are attached is rejected on contact. We can be blind to very real threats, we can perceive threats where none exist.
As the old candy ad goes, sometimes we feel like a nut, sometimes we don’t, but there is no shortcut to the self-knowledge and self-mastery that gives us the psychological strength to determine if that feeling is our own.

[i]Daniel J. Simons and Christopher F. Chabris, “Gorilla in our Midst: Sustained Inattentional Blindness for Dynamic Events” Perception 28.9 (1999): 1072.

TEN POSITIVE WARM-UPS TO THE NEW YEAR

2010-12-19T11:39:00.000-08:00

by Nicholas Wolff, LCSW, BCD, TEP

1. Read: Changing For Good: A Revolutionary Six-Stage Program For Overcoming Bad Habits and Moving Your Life Positively Forward by James Prochaska, John Norcross & Carlo DiClemente. Therapists from every discipline and model must read this book to understand what works and why when people achieve successful change. Anyone who seeks to make a change on their own will benefit from this book as well, which includes worksheets and information that promote self-change independent of professional support.

2. Donate: God's Love We Deliver which prepares and delivers nutritious, high-quality meals to people who, because of illness, are unable to provide or prepare meals for themselves. They also provide illness-specific nutrition education and counseling to our clients, families, care providers and other service organizations.

3. Donate: LASTWORDDESKS.COM - Lawrence O'Donnell of MSNBC has organized an effort to provide school desks for the children of Malawi, a country where the quality of education is poor. Changing the lives of children in countries as far away as Malawi may seem pie-in-the-sky and what-does-this-have-to-do-with-me, but here's the thing: in one of those classrooms may sit a future engineer or researcher or doctor who solves a human problem that benefits all of us. You never know.

4. "LIKE" my wife's facebook page for her book Possible Futures: Creative Thinking For The Speed of Life. Its free! There is new content every day. Food for thought...

5. Learn about: The Arts In The Armed Forces (AITAF) an organization created "to bridge the gap between the military and the performing arts communities by producing a series of free performances, under the structure of monologues and jazz, for a mixed military and civilian audience." In honor of Veteran's Day, for example, the AITAF hosted a free performance of monologues and jazz at the American Airlines Theater in New York City for men and women of the military and their families. Material is chosen for events like this "with an eye to what might speak to this particular audience, without being exclusively war-themed or focused." Nonprofit Uniting Soldiers and Performers in Common Cause" by Leonard Jacobs

6. Read: "The Spike and Other Improv Lessons" about improvisation as warm-up. "For me, improv is all about firing up parts of the mind and imagination in new ways," states Mark Rylance, currently appearing on Broadway in Le Bete, Tony-award winner for Boeing! Boeing!. "When you do improv you often inevitably start with an old feeling of boundaries and fear, of a sense that there's a right way to do things - and one point of improv is to try a new way that might not be quite right." "The Spike And Other Improv Lessons" by Patrick Healy

7. Celebrate the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell!! Hug a soldier and don't ask them who they go home to at night.

8. Practice peace in your heart.

9. Pray that we find a way to outlaw war. We can do better.

10. All of the above.

Nicholas Wolff's weekly training group in experiential and action methods for professional therapists, counselors and educators resumes on Wednesday January 19, 2011. Contact him at 631-366-4265 or lifestage_2000@yahoo.com

ITS A WONDERFUL LIFE: Five Peace-Promoting Practices

2010-12-13T11:47:00.000-08:00

                                                  by Jude Treder-Wolff, LCSW, RMT, CGP
    Peace on earth is sung and spoken and seen so often this time of year, which makes it a good time to reflect on this human ideal that always seems out of reach. Watch any random episode of Law & Order - a drama which pulls stories directly from the headlines - and it is clear that conflict remains a deadly issue in our personal lives as much as the lives of nations. The stresses of modern life, which include an ongoing blitz of media reminding us of Terrible Things We Must Forever Fear and All Our Inadequacies can wear us down and burn us out.
     My favorite definition of peace came to me through Al-Anon - which means the unknown author donated a simple, powerful roadmap to personal power: "Peace is not needing to know what will happen next."It is, however, uniquely difficult to put into practice: Here are some ideas for daily injections of peace-promoting thought and action.

Fresh thinking: Creativity is inherent to all of us but like any other potential - e.g. intellectual, physical, social - it must be developed over time to be truly helpful when we are under stress. We can practice for the tough times by reframing small pressures every day. Feeling unappreciated for the endless chauffeuring and shepherding of children? Write It’s A Wonderful Life about yourself. Imagine who you would be if you never had these kids. You might find gratitude for what you have and value who you are. You might find regret for roads not taken that drives resentment, reconnect with abandoned parts of self, and figure out how to revive lost dreams. Whatever shakes out, finding fresh approaches to the repeating, vexing patterns of our lives put creativity into action.
Focused attention: Meditation, music, conscious movement such as yoga, pilates and other body/mind disciplines and all forms of art engage the creative, intellectual, and physical “selves” in a unified activity that is an immediate and direct experience of inner peace. When all levels of attention are integrated in this way we cannot be divided against ourselves, and refusing to be a divided person strengthens us internally. A regular routine of mindful activity strengthens mental and physical health and yields more energy for coping with an increasingly divided world.

Fun: "If it’s a question of whether to do what’s fun or what is supposed to be good for you, and nobody is hurt by whichever you do, always do what’s fun,” wrote Harpo Marks in Harpo Speaks. Fun isn't something you have. Its something you do. So do it.
Freedom to fail, flail, flounder, and flop: A firm principle of successful improvisation is going with the flow of events in a game or a scene, which sounds great but in practice can trigger a flood of fears rooted in the mental structures we internalized from a lifetime of people-pleasing and perfectionism. Improv – in theater and in life – occurs through players’ adherence to the agreed-upon rules and boundaries, but the only yardstick for judging its success is the degree of flexibility we achieved by trying things and taking emotional risks. Improv practices peace through acceptance of and creative response to what we cannot control.
Forgiveness: “When a deep injury is done us, we never recover until we forgive” wrote Alan Paton, author of Cry! The Beloved Country among other novels, and activist for humanitarian causes all of his life, particularly against apartheid in his home country of South Africa. Forgiveness does not imply giving a pass to those who injured us, and it is only possible when we have found some healing and perhaps recovered some measure of what was lost. It comes most easily when we become exactly who we choose to be. Even thinking about who and what we choose to create in our lives moves us steadily away from any power the injuring person still has over our quality of life. I chose to learn about forgiveness for a very selfish reason: I have and will make mistakes in my relationships, and I hope to be forgiven.

Merry Christmas! Happy Winter Solstice! Happy Hannukah! Happy Holidays to all of you whatever you choose to celebrate!

Jude Treder-Wolff is the author of Possible Futures: Creative Thinking for the Speed of Life, a professional writer, trainer and speaker.

You can buy this book online at http://www.thespeedoflife.org/

GET YOUR CREATIVITY ON: THERE'S NOTHING TO LOSE BUT YOUR OLD WAYS OF THINKING

2010-11-30T07:50:00.000-08:00

by Jude Treder-Wolff, LCSW, RMT, CGP
http://www.thespeedoflife.org/

Creativity and technology are like capitalism. They can bring about great things that benefit many people, they are not only powers for good. Albert Einstein’s creative leap gave us the theory of relativity and transformed our understanding of space and time, but Enron executives' creative accounting schemes raided employee’s pension funds, for which they are doing time. Because of technology, we can reach out and touch someone at our time of need any hour of the day or night. And until we max out all our credit cards, it seems like the people at Home Shopping Network really do care about our problems.

From the paper clip to the microchip, all the extraordinary technological developments that have revolutionized our lives are results of the creative process. The same energy behind humanity’s power to make language, organize communities and governments, bend a piece of metal into a spoon, turn the wool from a sheep into a sweater, to improve surgical procedures, roadways or parenting skills, is the energy that moved Michelangelo to chip away at a chunk of marble until David emerged from within it.

Anything we want to change about our lives involves the creative process. To acquire a healthy habit, learn a new role or get better at an existing one calls for imagination to see inwardly and for creative energy to act in new ways. In the same way that helium expands a balloon from within, giving it definition and form, creativity expands our personality and gives definition to the roles through which we express it. Just as helium allows a balloon to rise, spontaneity works as an agent of expansion for our identity, activating a heightened awareness of potentials and choices. Through this expansion, we grow the capacity to transcend constricted thought, programmed beliefs, and the emotional jams that make us feel controlled by everything around us.
Our capacity to create is innate, but like reading and math and social skills, it becomes available to diverse demands through training, education, and discipline. A growing number of studies demonstrate that creativity training, or development in a creative domain, integrates the brain, body and emotions in a symphony of heightened functioning. A study published by Columbia University’s Center for Arts in Education Research reports that teachers in schools providing high-arts “spoke of the effects of arts learning along five specific dimensions of ability. These were the ability to:

Express ideas and feelings openly and thoughtfully;
Form relationships among different items of experience and layer them in thinking through an idea or problem;
Conceive or imagine different vantage points of an idea or problem and to work towards a resolution;
Construct and organize thoughts and ideas into meaningful units or wholes; and
Focus perception on an item or items of experience, and sustain this focus over a period of time.

     Eric Jensen of the Society for Neuroscience writes that training in the arts enhances the process of all other learning. “The systems they nourish, which include our integrated sensory, attentional, cognitive, emotional, and motor capacities, are, in fact, the driving forces behind all other learning,” he states. But institutions resist change, particularly the kind of paradigm-shifting transformation this knowledge supports, and so we persist in the habits of mind established for a world that no longer exists.
     Nobel Prize-winner Dr. Roger Sperry’s split-brain research showed that we have two modes of thinking: verbal, which are the intellectual, executive functions handled by the left brain, and nonverbal, the creative, nonlinear functions handled by the right brain. “Our education system, as well as science in general, tends to neglect the nonverbal form of intellect,” he writes. “What it comes down to is that modern society discriminates against the right hemisphere.” Because the arts, creativity training, and play are marginalized at best, school-age children’s intense and pressured education experience comes at the expense of the very skill set required for success in the twenty-first century. According to Education Week magazine, “We must think differently about teaching and learning…. Today’s students need to know more about the world and how to act as global citizens, particularly in this increasingly complex, global economy. They need practice in interdisciplinary thinking, because that is how innovation occurs. They need to become smarter about new sources of information. Kids need to learn how to rapidly process information and distinguish between what’s reliable and what’s not. In a world where information access is ubiquitous, discernible use is essential.”

Creativity can be viewed as a psychological strength, a dimension of personality that combines independent-mindedness with the capacity to collaborate, empathy for others with self-awareness, and big-picture thinking with attention to the moment-to-moment process of living. Creative development has been found to promote these strengths as well as expand essential mental and emotional capacities to make meaning of experience, discover novel, inventive connections between concepts, objects or ideas, and see old problems and situations from new angles as well as approach the familiar from a range of different perspectives.

Coaching Company Using Improv for Improving Lives - Article On The Smithtown Patch

2010-11-13T19:25:00.000-08:00

By Kenyon Hopkins READ THIS ARTICLE ON THE SMITHTOWN PATCH

Jude Treder-Wolff, president of Lifestage, Inc., a company established in 1993 with her husband and business partner Nicholas Wolff that provides training seminars for professional and personal growth through creativity, believes that Lifestage's roots have more to do with her personality than anything else.

"I have so many ideas I want to experiment with in my work," Treder-Wolff said, who is a licensed certified social worker, a registered music therapist and a certified group psychotherapist. "I wanted the freedom to develop the ideas I had about applying creative arts and creative methods in innovative ways."

It is with this approach that Lifestage has created many interactive workshops, which take place at their office space near the intersection of Route 111 and Route 347 in Smithtown, or at the location of an organization that has requested their services. Many more of Lifestage's group sessions, which usually range from seven to 25 people, are planned for 2011. A recent project is called "Serious Fun," a workshop that integrates music with theater improvisation.

According to Treder-Wolff, these aren't your everyday group workshops.

"What sets these improv workshops apart is our combination of music, theater games and storytelling techniques that make each workshop a unique and unrepeatable experience," she said. "It is a real-time experience of being in the moment, which can reframe problems and stress in amazing ways."

Another project they are now putting together is the "Storytelling Group Series" in which participants develop a short story for performance. This will be used in a storytelling show in an actual theater.

"This is a very exciting program for us because storytelling is increasingly popular as entertainment. Also because business and leadership training focuses on storytelling as a primary messaging tool that people need to learn to compete at nearly every level in the world of work," Treder-Wolff said.

Perhaps a more personal group just forming is "Writing for Your Life: Journaling As a Tool For Self-Healing," which focuses on the writing process as a means of overcoming such things as trauma, grief or stress.

"I provide readings and journaling prompts that participants can use in their daily journaling process," she said. "We discuss the ways that a journaling process can shift perspective about events in our lives, strengthen connection to our inner life and to our creative capacities."

The participants involved in this and other workshops usually seek to develop their skills and tap into their creative side in a safe, supportive atmosphere. For skeptics who doubt their ability to take part, Treder-Wolff tries to provide reassurance.

"If anything makes people question what we do, it is the discomfort and anxiety many people have about doing anything experiential, thinking they will be put on the spot or feel self-conscious," she said. "We design everything knowing there will be people in the room who have these preconceptions about anything creative."

Even if an idea for a group workshop isn't solid yet, she still sees the benefits. And when it is a success, she couldn't be more content.

"I like to try things I haven't seen anyone else doing and it is a creative challenge that might attract like-minded people looking for community," Treder-Wolff said. "When things work, when people engage with what we're doing, respond, and a project takes off I feel like the pilot of a 747 and it thrills my soul."

WHAT THEY SAW AT THE REVOLUTION: Coming of Age in the 50s and 60s Through the Eyes of "Three Boomer Broads"

2010-10-23T14:12:00.000-07:00

BY JUDE TREDER-WOLFF, LCSW, RMT, CGP

After decades-long careers in teaching and the arts, professional storytellers (left to right) Lynn Wing, Sara Slayton, and Terry Visger vaulted their skills, years of friendship and common history into writing and performing full-length shows which opened to standing room only crowds at the Pump House Regional Arts Center in their home town of LaCrosse Wisconsin. Their first production, “Three Boomer Broads: Remembering While We Still Can,” billed as “the sights, sounds and stories of the 1950 and 1960s as told by three women who lived through them” explored what it was like to come of age during one of the most turbulent and revolutionary periods of American life.

     Using music and images to enhance exploration of their theme “the loss of innocence,” “the stories reflected the historic social transformations in which our own personal metamorphoses occurred,” writes Ms. Slayton in an article published in The Northlands Storytelling Network Journal. “Lynn’s story spoke about the loss of innocence of a child learning to ride a two-wheel bike and striking her own balance in her world. Terry’s story took the audience to her grandmother’s southern Illinois restaurant on the day that the first black man came in to be served. And my story recalled my teen years in Madison during the anti-war protests and the bombing of the Math building at the University there.”
     A teacher for over 35 years, Ms. Visger channels the unique potential of storytelling to “make learning fun, make it ‘stick’ and make kids want to learn more. Story is the best way to learn information and use that information. It is how our brains evolved--how we have always learned best,” she explains. But not only kids crave and benefit from its full-throttle engagement with our brain and imagination. Storytelling techniques are integral to her teaching at both the undergraduate and graduate students at a private university, her work with businesses and a wide range of organizations.
     Also a career teacher, Ms. Slayton speaks to groups ranging from classrooms to conventions on storytelling and the arts in education and is active in her roles as co-founder of the Bluff Country Tale Spinners storytelling guild, chair of the La Crosse Storytelling Festival, and Wisconsin State Liaison to the National Storytelling Network. She also speaks about her personal journey through cancer and facilitates the healing-focused workshops “Writing as Therapy During Illness,” and “The Healing Power of Fairy Tales.”
     Ms. Wing, whose standout piece in the current show"What Our Mothers Never Told Us" describes her experience of caretaking her dementia-afflicted father, has developed a cache of traditional and original fictitonal tales as well as personal stories in her 15 years as a storyteller. Her 25-year writing career, which began in advertising and progressed to documentaries, articles, and podcasts continues to evolve and currently includes a novel (her second) and a memoir which are currently works in progress.
    In our automated, press-one-to-speak-to-an-actual-person age, the popularity of true storytelling may be a kind of cultural testimony to our need and regard for aliveness and authenticity. Audiences respond to what Ms. Slayton describes as “the warm, conversational tone, humor and pathos” of this show, but also because the stories “Three Boomer Broads” have lived to tell connect us to our own.
Their show “What Our Mothers Never Told Us,” returns to the Pump House November 11 and 12, 2010.
To find out more about or book Sara Slayton go to http:// www.slaytline.com
To find our more about or book Terry Visger go to http://www.talesbyterry.com/

Jude Treder-Wolff is the author of Possible Futures: Creative Thinking For The Speed of Life, about creative ways to keep up with the pace of change in the age of technology.

WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS NOW: GETTING UP TO SPEED WITH APPLIED IMPROVISATION

2010-09-08T15:46:00.000-07:00

Jude Treder-Wolff, LCSW, RMT, CGP

Make your partner look good," a guiding principle of improvisation, was abundantly on display the night I attended a meeting of the New York Rgional Applied Improvisation Network co-facilitated by Zohar Adner and Caitlin McClure, both professional trainers in corporate settings whose game plan for the evening transformed 25 strangers into a working group. Within the first 20 minutes, a positive, dynamic energy connected us, making the event a real-time expression of the philosophy and skill set that both trainers believe and practice in their personal and working lives, e.g., "work at the top of your intelligence; we are all supporting players; avoid judging what occurs, focus on what you can contribute," to quote the Patron Saint of Improv, Del Close.

     "This is a foundational mindset and way of looking at the world that opens up possibilities and collaboration - two things the world really needs now," Zohar states. "Every cause gets stronger when people accept that the world has more options than they can come up with on their own." Caitlin emphasizes that "this way of thinking and being in the world is a discipline, and as such, must be practiced."
     These methods can revolutionize learning in a therapy group or classroom. They bring information to life and immediately connect it to experience. And experience makes learning stick. Scientific American estimates that technology is evolving at something like 10 million times the natural speed of change. As this accelerated pace continues to reshape organizations, methods that promote rapid integration of knowledge and the facility to apply it are gaining value.
     "In today's economic environment, companies and organizations need to bolster productivity, increase creativity, and deliver results," Zohar explains. "Those who embrace quality, service, teamwork, and trust throughout their workforce will thrive in such an environment. Fortunately the application of improv (and its tenets) in the workplace can garner those very traits." Daniel Goleman, author of Working With Emotional Intelligence writes "As business changes, so do the traits needed to survive, let alone excel" - traits that include self-awareness, empathy, embrace of diversity, and social awareness[iii]. "The ratcheting upward of competitive pressures puts a new value on people who are self-motivated, show initiative, have the inner drive for outdoing themselves, and are optimistic enough to take reversals and setbacks in stride."[ii]
     Improvisation is getting some serious traction in the business community as research findings support its effectiveness. A graduate of Columbia University, Caitlin wrote her master’s thesis on Emotional Intelligence after she observed its correlation to work she was already doing with Applied Improv. She wondered “could an AI curriculum be mapped on to and develop Daniel Goleman’s framework of 20 EI competencies? My initial pilot workshops have been successful. I am currently running more workshops to collect more data.”
   Professor Mary Crossan of the Ivey School of Business views improvisation as “a key business imperative” in the networked world. “Even if managers recognize the inherent unpredictability of their environment,” she states in the journal Organizational Dynamics, “Lessons can be learned from improvisation, both in theater and music, for application to business. In addition, training exercises from the performing arts can be used to convey the principles of improvisation in corporate settings.”[iv] “The verb we use in improv is “To Play,” says Caitlin. “Getting a group to play together is a great way to get them to start to trust each other.”
     Both Zohar and Caitlin will present at the annual conference of the Applied Improvisation Network which will take place in Amsterdam Sept. 23-26, 2010. The conference program wil feature three tracks: Business, which will focus on innovation, organizational change, building & branding a business; The Social World, exploring applications of improv to social change; The Personal World, focusing on personal development and applications of improv to creating a better, more satisfying life.
     “I’m presenting about the importance of the debriefing process,” Caitlin explains, “where clients consciously make connections between their AI experiences and their work/lives. For experiential learning to stick, meaning from the experience must be made conscious.”
     Zohar’s presentation will expand on concepts in his book - a revolutionary, step-by-step strategy for using what we perceive as stress to actualize important change. In his book, the exercises on his website, and his group he encourages a creative, open-ended questioning consistent with the model and the method of applied improvisation e.g. “Given the fact that these stressful things happening, how can I use this situation to my benefit or to create a better world?”

Zohar and Caitlin have scheduled the next meeting of the New York Applied Improvisation community for Friday October 15, 2010. Click here for more information

Zohar Adner author of The Gift of Stress, and creator of the Seven R's of Stress Release®—a process to release ANY stress quickly, easily, and effectively, ha appeared on Late Show with David Letterman to coach one of their staff, and has been interviewed for articles in Women's Health, Men's Health, Woman’s World, Weight Watchers, Career Builder, USA Today, and NY Post. His humorous and engaging presentations illustrate how to capitalize on the stress’s urgent message, regain control over it, and release it. Visit his website http://www.stopstressingout.com/

Caitlin McClure designs and facilitates professional development programs that draw heavily on the principles and techniques of Applied Improv. She started improvising in 1995 and since then has been busily teaching, coaching and facilitating both on her own and with different consulting firms. Her passion is bringing the communication principles of improv to non-improvisers, helping them creatively solve problems and perform more effectively. Last year she got her M.A. in Adult Learning and Leadership from Columbia University allowing her to offer a wide array of services that leverage the tools and principles of adult learning theory. Clients include The US Olympic Committee, PricewaterhouseCoopers, Citibank, Lehman Brothers, American Express, PNC Bank, The Girl Scouts of America, Columbia University, and the New York City Health and Hospitals Corporation. Visit her website at http://caitlinmcclure.wordpress.com./

WHAT I LEARNED AT THE PSYCHOTHERAPY NETWORKER SYMPOSIUM

2010-09-03T12:49:00.000-07:00

Nicholas Wolff, LCSW, BCD, TEP

The 2010 Psychotherapy Networker Symposium in March was a marathon of consciousness-raising led by Networker editor Rich Simon and his first-class panel of keynote speakers, who leveraged the not-so-good-news about the social, environmental and global problems we face with evidence-based recommendations about what we can do to turn things around. One thing was clear: complacency is not an option. Dan Goleman -author of Emotional Intelligence, among other books, and whose writing for the Science section of the New York Times I long admired - talked about why the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, a Texas-sized sort of island of plastic items out in the ocean – which the Wall Street Journal argues is maybe not really that big and even if it is that big, but what’s the big deal – should matter to psychotherapists. Because it is just one of many signs of world-class problems that we can all do something about if we expand our focus. Psychotherapy as a field is often disconnected from these issues in its focus on individuals’ private struggles. Dan Siegel – author of MINDSIGHT reassured me that group work will grow in relevance with his research about interpersonal neurobiology, but I left with a sense of urgency that I hope to channel into useful, creative innovations in my work that reach beyond the consulting room.

What I learned at the symposium is (not only) this: Groups are essential to heal personal trauma and pain, but also have the power to damage, degrade and delude us. The skilled, mindful, and socially aware group psychotherapist can promote healing of personal trauma and loneliness, and also raise consciousness about the world around us. Good groups make us honest. Skilled group psychotherapists can contribute a great deal to the future we all create – for ourselves and for the generations coming up.

Nicholas Wolff, LCSW, BCD, TEP offers a weekly psychodrama/experiential methods training group from September - June. This training is an approved provider of re-credentialing Continuing Education by the New York State Office of Alcohol & Substance Abuse Services, National Association of Alcohol & Drug Abuse Counselors, and National Board of Certified Counselors,and for credentialing hours approved by the American Board of Examiners in Psychodrama, Sociometry, and Group Psychotherapy. An individual meeting with the trainer is required for admission to this group - contact him to discuss this or for more information: 631-366-4265 or by email at lifestage_2000@yahoo.com with TRAINING GROUP in subject line.

JudeTheGame61210.mov

2010-06-13T16:24:00.000-07:00

WARM-UP EXERCISES FOR GROUP WORK - For Therapeutic, Educational or Training Groups

2010-04-27T20:06:00.000-07:00

Nicholas Wolff, LCSW, BCD, TEP, Director of Training at Lifestage, Inc & Jude Treder-Wolff, LCSW, RMT, CGP, Training Co-ordinator at Lifestage

“To begin assembly one must have the right attitude,” goes a Japanese instruction for assembling a particular object, as quoted in Zen and the Art of Motorcyle Maintenance. The "right attitude" is one that best serves the action we are preparing to engage in, just as an athlete warms up his/her muscles before using them in the stress of a work-out or game. Psychological and emotional "muscles" that are properly warmed up will perform more effectively and make it less likely that we will experience strain or allow fear to produce a shut-out when things get rolling.
The right warm-up makes everything learned in a training situation or classroom more accessible and immediately useful to the trainee/student. New skills and knowledge - in education, personal growth or a professional training situation where a set of skills or concepts must be integrated into the repertoire of a team or organization - are absorbed and integrated more rapidly when the group energy expresses supportive connections among the people present. The important thing is to match the warm-up with the objective for the group meeting, i.e. a batter would not focus on warming up their pitching arm.

WARM-UP EXERCISES FOR GROUP WORK

General Goals:
Facilitate creativity among the group members
Strengthen social connections within clear boundaries
Focus the group energy and thinking
Generate integrated experience
Deepen learning of skills through engaging integrated functions of kinesethetic, limbic and cortical brain

General Objectives:
To explore familiar problems in new and unfamiliar ways that tap imaginative capacities
To use creative thinking skills in collaboration with others
To explore diverse approaches to the same situation or problem
To strengthen the capacity to experiment and diminish fear of making mistakes
To replace the need to “look good” with the desire for self-expression
To provide opportunities for positive experiences connected to the learning or the social process

WARM-UPS TO INCREASE GROUP COHESIVENESS AND DEMONSTRATE FRAME-CHANGING

CIRCLE WHO’S WHO Participants stand in a circle. Leader asks a series of questions and asks everyone whose answer is “yes” to step inside for each one, e.g. “Who is left-handed?” “Who has a pet?” “Who has been to the Grand Canyon?” “Who likes action movies?” etc.
Each person who steps inside then shares briefly as appropriate, e.g. the name of their pet(s), what action movies they like, etParticipants can then call out some questions of their own to see who’s who in the group.
TIME-CLOCK The room is described as a large clock, with one point on a wall representing 12 o'clock and the point directly opposite representing 6 o'clock, and all numbers in between have a place around the room just as on a clock. Participants are asked "what is your favorite time of day" and respond by moving to the spot in the room that represents that time of day, then sharing verbally. Other questions: "what is your busiest time of day? "what time of day does this group get the most work done?" "what time of day is problematic for this group?" (for work teams)
ALPHABET INTRODUCTION
Group leader instructs participants to introduce themselves to the group (or to say Hello at the start of an existing group) by saying something about how they are doing, beginning their statement with the next letter of the alphabet from the person before them. The group leader starts off with a sentence that begins with the letter “A” e.g. “Always good to see you guys, I’m interested to know how each of you are doing.” The next person might say “Boy, I’m glad to be here, its been a hard week for me,” and the next “Can’t believe how tired I am this morning,” etc .
LIGHT ADJUSTMENT
If you have a lamp with a dimmer switch or a dimmer switch for the overhead lighting in the room, have each participant adjust the lighting to demonstrate: their degree of clarity about a question or issue; their mood or feeling about the issue at hand; their degree of hope about the proposed change or innovation. Discussion points: What was communicated through the choices each participant made? How did the group feel experiencing the light settings produced by their peers? What did they learn about each other?
THREE ENTRANCES
Each participant takes a turn. They leave the room and re-enter with a clearly-expressed attitude, emotion and intention, approaching another participant who then responds in a way that mirrors or responds to hat is being expressed. Each participant can make 3 entrances, changing each one in some way and engaging a different partner each time.
GOOD TRAITS
Each group member completes the sentence “One thing I know I have going for me is ___________.” After each group members has completed the sentence, ask everyone to stand beside the person who said something that is also true for them. Have each member stand beside a person who has a strength they aspire to. Continue to find other ways of connecting.
COLLAGE
Provide old magazines that can be cut up for this exercise. Ask participants to look through magazines and cut out pictures of people in situations roles they play in the course of their lives: Child, Student, Brother/Sister, Soccer-player, cheerleader, friend etc. Have them paste the pictures collage-style on a large paper. Display the collages on the floor or on chairs and give the group time to look closely at all of them. Ask participants to: stand next to the collage that is most like yours, and share how this person’s experience is like your own;
Stand next to a collage that shows people in roles or situations you would like to be in;
Stand next to a collage that you would like to know more about.
Discuss commonalities among group members, the strenths and skills represented in the pictures they chose for themselves, and those they would like to acquire. Deepen the discussion according to the needs of the group.

WARM-UPS FOR CREATIVE THINKING & PROBLEM-SOLVING

THREE HEROES
Each participant writes a problem on a notecard and places it in the Problem Basket. Each participant is then
asked to name 3 famous people and write each name on a separate note card: e.g.
One person famous for being smart
One person famous for doing something heroic
One person famous for doing good

The large group breaks down into small groups of 3. Each small group pulls a problem from the Problem Basket and 3 names from the Famous People basket. Each person in the small group takes on the identity of the famous person and the group discusses the problem from these roles. The idea is to explore the way the famous people might think about the problem, what skills they bring to the situation, what special insights they might have from thei r life experience. The small group then briefly speaks to the larger group about the problem, staying in the roles of the famous persons. After each small group has presented to the large group, discussion points might be: What was it like to try and take on the mind set of the famous person?
What part of you might be similar to this famous person?
Would you like to be more like this famous person and if so how?

SUPERHEROES
The group focuses on a theme or problem common to everyone in the group Participants break out into small groups of 3. Each small group works together to create a superhero that has 2 super-powers, 1 area of vulnerability, and an alter ego, including the reasons for these superpowers and vulnerability. The group imagines this superhero has come to the school to deal with the problem the group focused on for this session and uses his/her superpowers to address it. When the large group reconvenes, each Superhero is interviewed by the larger group about his/her powers and what he/she can do to deal with the problem. Discussion focuses on: What did the group or individuals within the group discover through the character they created? What aspects of ourselves are expressed in a superhero character? What would it be like to have special gifts and not be able to let anyone know about them, as Clark Kent (Superman) Bruce Wayne (Batman) or Peter Parker (Spiderman) have to do?

MESSAGE FROM THE FUTURE
Group makes a list of roles they will have if they achieve their goals, e.g. Sportswriter, Business-Owner, Lawyer, Famous Actress, Athlete, etc. Empty chairs are placed at the opposite end of the room from where the group members are seated. Each person thinks about what role they aspire to and imagines that that future self in the empty chair at the end of the room. Then then go to that chair, assume the role and “act as if” they are this person, describe their successes, and how obstacles were overcome to realize it. They then give a message from the future to the current “self” back in the group. Dialogue between the two selves is encouraged to discover what skills, strengths, and supports the current self already has to move in this direction and what still needs to be developed or discovered.

ACTING AS IF
The group focuses on a problem or situation that is common to everyone or in which the entire group has a stake. The group is instructed to imagine that the problem or situation has been successfully resolved, and they are to “act as if” they had a part in working it out successfully. In other words, the exercise is to step into the reality of the change and imagine what it might be like to be beyond this problem. Explore the possible solutions that emerge. If the group is stuck and cannot imagine any possible solutions, discuss whether this is due to their own perceived, or a realistic, lack of power or access to roles that would allow them to be more pro-active. Try to find where group members can be more creative and pro-active, whatever the circumstances may be, and to “act as if” they can make a difference.

WORLD'S WORST
Group members choose a topic to focus on and break it down into 3 skills or strengths that are necessary to develop it. For example, the topic Social Competency might require: recognition other peoples’ boundaries; the ability to feel connections with people who are likely to reciprocate; recognition of how to respond to people in a range of emotional situations. The group creates an “expert” on this topic who actually gives the world’s worst guidance on this topic. A volunteer can play the role as directed by the group or several people can take turns with the role, giving terrible advice, pointing people in the opposite direction. After the exercise, discuss how approaching the topic this way opens up creative thinking and/or enhances discovery of novel approaches.

Nicholas Wolff, LCSW, BCD, TEP offers a weekly psychodrama/experiential methods training group from Sept - June at Lifestage, Inc. This group awards training hours for credentialing and re-credentialing approved by the New York State Office of Alcohol & Substance Abuse, National Association of Drug & Alcohol Abuse Counselors, National Board of Certified Counnselors, and the American Board of Examiners in Psychodrama, Sociometry and Group Pschotherapy. More information at http://www.lifestage.org/. Jude Treder-Wolff is a creative arts therapist, trainer, writer and storyteller who conducts classes, workshops and groups nation-wide. She is the author of Possible Futures: Creative Thinking for the Speed of Life

MUSIC TALKS

2010-04-27T10:19:00.000-07:00

by Jude Treder-Wolff, LCSW, RMT, CGP

Music represents everything good about being human, but it does not have to be fancy to be authentic. This is clear from the start when learning to play the piano. Talent is not required for this, any more than knowledge about the internal combustion engine is required to drive a car. That’s not as strange a comparison as you might think - both cars and pianos operate according to certain physical laws: The Law of Acoustics, which is the science of sound, The Law of Gravity, which is the science of steering clear of any area where a piano or a car are suspended from a crane, and the Law of Reciprocity, the principle that in learning an instrument and in life, we get back what we put in.

To start, some basics. Understand that the piano is in charge. It is pure potential when well-tuned, and can deliver Mr. Rogers’ theme song and Rachmaninoff with equal commitment. The musician-in-training might think of herself as the hands, foot and consciousness behind the whole operation but lets face it. She is merely the muscle through which the piano can run away with the show.

It bears repeating, the piano is in charge. It will not lie. An f sharp is an f sharp, and if we hit the f key by mistake the piano will sound that f and reveal our clanger. The nice part is the piano has absolutely no judgment about wrong notes. It will always reflect back to us the quality of our effort, but this has nothing to do with opinion or approval. Once we register the feedback, we can go back and play the passage again, mindful of that f sharp. Then play it again and again and again, until it is no longer necessary to think about it. Once the skills get into our hands, well, that’s when things can really start to happen.

The piano is infinitely patient, and will never abandon us. It has the upper hand, so why should it care how long it takes for us to be ready to rock and roll? But this is what balances things out: the piano needs us in order to fulfill its purpose. Without us, it is just an attractive piece of furniture gathering dust and rust while all this amazing music is possible if we do our part. The piano has no judgment about this either. That’s just how it is. A player needs an instrument, an instrument needs a player, and together they are more than the sum of their parts.

Here is the most important way learning the piano is like life: there are always hard parts. Parts we want to skip. Parts we would like to fake, or rush through, or bypass altogether, or call up our friends to tell about the injustice and horror of them. Mastering these passages is not required. But trying to ignore them will leave us feeling terminally inadequate. Because once we encounter them, it is not really possible to pretend we didn’t back down from the challenge. Tackling them might not work out.. It is also possible we will never again fear the experience of being a rank beginner.

Life has periods of relative quiet and complacency, when we breeze through whatever arises and nothing seems too far from the way we thought things would be. These times are like playing when we know the neighbors can hear, and instead of feeling self-conscious and going all pianissimo, we play big and out because this life is our movie and this music is our music. Then something explodes. The baby will not stop crying and we cannot figure out why. Nothing seems to stop that leak from the ceiling in the basement. Its four a.m. and we see our daughter’s bedroom light is on but she is not in her bed. The radiologist just called to discuss something on a mammogram. The hard parts can seem to demand aggressive forceful attacks on the music, or a tendency to rush through just to get it all over with.

The piano will not insist that we change the way we think about the tough passages. It won’t belabor the fact that the only way to get to the end of a song is to play through it. To get through these sections is to break the whole thing down into the smallest possible fragments, just two or three notes at a time, and go over them slowly, repeatedly, and with precision. Persistence is everything. One hand at a time. Repetitive attention to specific, even tiny movements, sends the message to the brain that we can do it. We can because we broke it down into manageable parts. This is the way through. And it works. A measure a day, or a measure a week if it is very demanding, is how the new connections are made, until there is no thought involved. It is going to change everything, to find out we can get through the hard parts.

When we are learning note by note, the piano is one with us. When we are storming through Beethoven’s 5th sonata, the piano is one with us. Wherever we are in the learning brings out what was inside us all along, but needed the piano to bring it out.

In music, and in life, there is movement, and surprise, and transformation, but only if we enter into it completely. Give our self over. Play the piece again and again. Think of nothing except what needs to happen now, and it will reveal things to us. The better we know the notes, the freer we will be with them, and they become a part of us. For that to happen we have to focus our involvement and concentration. We can think of nothing else. And we will get back a feeling so pure and complete we will not need anything more.

Music talks. Listen. Play. Repeat.

TURNING POINTS

2010-04-17T13:30:00.000-07:00

by Nicholas Wolff, LCSW, BCD, TEP

The scene: A psychodrama and group psychotherapy training workshop intensive, conducted by a highly-respected trainer.
The situation: We have been assigned the task of creating an on-the-spot warm-up exercise for a group. Be spontaneous, but use what we have learned.
My dilemma: I am standing in front of this group of twenty-odd colleagues, some of whom are
brilliant and a bit intimidating, and here's the thing: My mind is blank.

I am supposed to be speaking. People are staring at me, patient and trusting. But I have
nothing. Nadda. No ideas, not even a hint. Time seems to slow down. The anxiety is
overwhelming. So I take action.
I drop to the floor of the stage. I lie there with eyes closed. Still nothing. Now my heart is pounding, because I've started something here and it has to go somewhere or I risk total
humiliation. I begin to roll around on the floor of the stage, eyes still closed, mind still blank. I
pretend to be in a deep sleep, and having a nightmare.
Finally my mind clicks on. All in the same moment, I make a decision to sit up and open my eyes. I tell the group that I just fell asleep and while sleeping, had a dream. I say that they were all in the dream, in which I was standing in the middle of Yankee Stadium all by myself and they were all hiding in various places in the stadium. With that I tell them to - right now - find their hiding place. Everyone scatters and creates their spot. I "find" one person, and together we "find" another, until everyone is out of hiding. Then we discuss:

! How did you like your hiding place?

! What were you hiding from?

! What was it like to be found?

     This experience was over 30 years ago but I remember it with intensity still today because it was for me a turning point. In this encounter with anxiety and public exposure of my self-doubt,
I made a shift. It was perhaps the first time I consciously, knowingly allowed my emotions
and inner struggle to guide me rather than shut them down or cover them up. The success of
that experience was confirmation that my efforts to challenge old ways of thinking - which often
seemed to be plodding along going nowhere - were paying off. I could feel I was on a new road.
   As a psychotherapist and a trainer of both healers and teachers, it is my privilege to help people navigate some of the most significant - also the scariest and most high-stakes - changes in their thinking and their lives. Most of us begin a process of change when the roads we have been going down no longer lead to happiness nor health but we are held back by an understandable fear that we will not achieve the life we envision nor realize our desires.
     For many of us, this is because our built-in psychological GPS is obsolete and needs an
upgrade. The good news is that a creative process of change equips us to navigate new paths of action and expanded directions in life. If a therapeutic or learning process is successful, it is because the therapist helped a person navigate their own consciousness deeply enough to install an internal, emotional GPS that turns what had been unmanageable or hidden feelings into cues and messages by which we are able to make the proper turns on our journey through life.
     Change is a creative process, and we simply will not know at what moment the new roads we take will begin to feel like our own. Its like what E.L. Doctorow said about the process of art: "Writing is like driving at night in the fog. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way."

Chaos and Creativity

2010-03-20T20:18:00.001-07:00

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Chaos and Creativity

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